finding my own strength

hey call me crazy, but i've totally been feeling the need to post. i guess just a lot of things running through my mind. i really am a bit upset that that boy still hasn't called. but you know? i'm slowly coming to the realization that i need to not care so much if he calls. cuz ya know, the ball's in his court, it's his move. and i've done my part. it's okay. guys are not worth crying over, figuratively speaking, and the one that is, won't make you cry. so i'm just gonna accept that maybe this is a hint that it wouldn't have worked out and that maybe i really am just supposed to not be with a guy right now. after all, i still need to finish working out my issues with a previous boyfriend. i think i know where i stand with all of that, but i just need to have time to solidify them. cuz if everything goes okay, he'll be back in three weeks. so i need to know everything for myself by then so i can stand strong and know i've made the right choice. this wasn't entirely what i was gonna blog about, but i guess i needed to write it down so that others can see it and that i can't back out or be stupid and take the easy way out. not this time. it's my time to be the strong one. my time. and it's now, only up to me. wow i sound like some self help novel or sumthin. lol. oh well that's me. and if that boy does call, cool. if not, it's not the end of the world. i'm a strong girl. girl power! lol :D

average jane signing off.

fooling myself

so i guess somehow i had managed to convince myself that this would be different. that a guy liked me. and i guess i managed to fool myself. but you know. i'm okay. so that guy i mentioned before. yeah haven't talked to him in a week. way annoying. he was supposed to call. but didn't . maybe he has a valid explanation. i dunno. but right now i'm just pissed. and once again realizing why i don't get my hopes up about guys. it's all good though. i'm a tough girl.

the sad thing is, a part of me is still waiting for him to call. hoping he'll have a valid explanation for why he didn't call. silly me. still waiting, still hoping. for now.


average jane signing off.