happy thoughts

well, yeah just hanging out at my house doin my normal daily ritual of checking my email. and i get this email from army man. he tells me of how his day at work went yesterday. and it was kind of sad. he had a lot of mistakes. honest mistakes anyone could have made. as background, army man is totally convinced all the time that either karma or god is mad at him. he said though at the end of the email that he's either extremely unlucky or incompetent. he wrote to me, " you can pick which one, seeming that you're the only bit of luck in my life." and i sat there reading that , and a smile came to my face and i felt happy. but, the question is, is there any deeper meaning to it. or just that we're good friends. i don't know. gosh relationships can be so confusing. but, yeah i guess i'll take time to figure it out. this is average jane signing off.

days of summer

well, now the days of summer have come and gone. well, almost. and it seems like it wasn't long enough. i wish that i could just have another month. another month to be carefree and not have to worry about school. though i am looking forward to school. i like learning. i think that if i didn't have such stupid dumbass teachers sometimes then maybe i'd like school more. but, i wish that i'd hung out with friends more this summer. i have hung out with them more this summer than i have ever in my life in past summers. but, yeah i hung out some more than others. but, now i say goodbye to the hot summer nights and all the great times. average jane signing off.

love songs

millions of times a day, you hear love songs on the radio. you hear all those songs about the girl falling in love with the guy, guy likes girl and they hookup. yet in real life it's not that easy. you can't just approach a guy and say, "hey i really like you!" and then expect everything to be okay. especially if you're good friends. cuz if it turns out he doesn't like you that way, then the friendship just can't be the same after that . so sometimes the risk simply isn't worth it. and it sucks. cuz you just once wish things could work out romantically for you. at least i do. i think the only song right now i really like is called "so sick" by ne-yo. it talks about being so sick of love songs. and sometimes that is totally just my theme song. yeah, this is average jane signing off.

work

yeah so i need money. i have an expensive year ahead of me. with it being my senior year. so i went back to my old job at a theater. it does live plays. the plays are okay kinda boring. but, when i went on to sublist only i was making around $10 an hour, cuz i got good tips. i honestly are having second thoughts about working there. but, it's really not bad hours. and it works with my schedule. cuz i'd only work nights and about 3 nights a week. but, yeah sometimes you just nee d the money. cuz i have around $600 to pay for choir. and $600 for travle and tourism academy. and then i have DECA that'll cost around $200. so yeah expensive. well, average jane signing off.

exhausted

well, i just got back from work and as my title says, i'm exhausted. and i still have to go back to work in about an hour cuz i have to also work the night shift. only four more hours. it really isn't alot of work but, i'm getting tired easily today. but,at least the money is good. i really need the money cuz i owe my mom around 200 dollars and i really need some money for school stuff. but, i still am tired. anyways, this is average jane signing off.

moments of sadness

Have you ever felt like there's no one else in the world that understands you? that's how i feel almost constantly in my life. i wish that i could find someone who totally gets me. well, there has been one person who's come the closest to knowing the real me. and it's kind of nice. that feeling that if i ever need any advice or help, he'll always be there for me. actually now there's two guys. and i know they're there for me. and sometimes though i wish that i had some girl my age to really talk to, yet i can't ever seem to find someone who i can really click with. the only people i can find that really click with me seem to be guys. there's nothing wrong with having amzing guy friends but, at the same time , it never could replace having girls to discuss guys that i like. it's totally not the same. but, i guess sometimes i just accept that life sucks sometimes and move on. average jane signing off.

clouds with silver linings

you know, i've heard the phrase "every cloud has a silver lining" too many times to count. and i guess that this phrase is the only way to describe my feelings right now. army guy emails me every so often and every so often, his email can brighten my day and he doesn't even know it. i don't know how to say anything with it ruining what friendship we have. yet this cloud has a silver lining. and my cloud's silver lining is army man. i don't know where i'd be without him.
it's average jane signing off.