good news

today is a great day. first my boyfriend meets me outside my 1st period class to just say hi, then today after school i have the best talk with my mom. i told her about my boyfriend and it turns out she doesn't care that i have a boyfriend. so i don't have to be secretive about him anymore. it's kind of a good feeling. but, life is good and it's gonna finally all work out great. anyhoo, well, i gotta go. average jane signing off.

belatedly in memory of 9/11

i want to make a belated tribute to 9/11. on monday i was too preoccupied to write it. but, on the forums of one of my friends, we had a topic about sept. 11th. we discussed the implications and all that has happened in the past 5 years since the terrorist attacks. but, we discussed whether we should have a memorial and consecrate the ground where such a terror had happened. army man said the people who died did that. but, i believe that a memorial is not necessary to remember those who were lost in the 9/11 tragedy.
and as to consecrating the ground, those who died in the attack already did that with their blood and tears. the hearts that still ache for the loved ones lost, it is for them we should remember those lost. so many died trying to protect the freedom we have, to save those hurt by terrorists. and in the end, many were lost.

but, many were saved. i think the best is to focus on the future, though without forgetting the past. for it is our experiences, our struggles that shape us. the past is always a part of us, but, if we hold on to the past, we cannot move on and continue on in the battle for good that our men in uniform have fought so hard for.

it is up to us to proudly declare that we are Americans, citizens of the United States of America.

it is up to us to give our support to the men and women in the armed forces. they are fighting to keep us free. and they are doing the best they can.

my prayers are with all those enlisted, whether they are in the army, national guard, coast guard, etc., along with the families of those enlisted.

hope you all realize this as the 5 yr. anniversary has passed, an anniversary many of us are still having trouble realizing has come and passed, realize that it is up to us, the younger generation to continue on in the tradition of keeping our land free.

average jane signing off.

my guy

i'll be sitting at home and then the thought will come randomly, i have a boyfriend. and i still can't get over the fact that i have the most amzing, cute, sweet, and perfect boyfriend. i do wish that sometimes i could spend more time with him. but, i try to spend all the time i possibly can. he just simply makes me happy, and i feel special around him. like i'm somebody special. i know people will try to tell me that yes i am special no matter what. but, sometimes it just feels good to feel special because a guy makes you feel that way. it's like everything is gonna be okay. jane signing off.

thoughts on religion

so i was at the cathedral of the madeline just yesterday. and i was stunned at the beauty of the chapel. it was amzing. and there was just this feeling in being there that made me want to whisper. i really dont know what made me feel that. but, i loved the feeling of peace and calm that came over me. and then there was this choir that began to sing. it was made up of mostly male voices. and it was amzing. and i got to thinking about religion. it made me think about why i've been trying so hard to get away from it. and i think the real reason i've been trying so hard to get away from it is that i feel my parents have been shoving it down my throat, especially these last few years. and i came to realize that it's not the religion i hate, it's just the fact that my parents interpret it in a way that i don't agree with. maybe it's time to explore it on my own and come to my own conclusion about religion. and thinking about religion brought thoughts about marriage to mind, especially with me being in my first serious relationship. in my religion, or the one i've been raised in, teaches that a couple can be married in our temple and the marriage can last forever. and i've been thinking. if i love someone enough to marry them, wouldn't i want it to last forever? and wouldn't it be great to have something i believe in to help me through the especially hard times? i don't know. it's a path i think i must take to really find out for myself. also my boyfriend told me he was still planning on going on a mission for the LDS church. he asked me, if he goes on a mission, where would that leave us? and, i said, i don't know. that it all depends on whether or not we're still together. and i sincerely hope we are still together. but, that got me thinking even more about my church. and where my faith stood. and i'm more and more coming to the conclusion that it's time to really search it and study my religion for myself. average jane signing off.

me really thinking

something dr. paleo commented made me think. he said he'd rather get married sooner than later. and you know what? i've always said that i'm not gonna get married until i've graduated from college and done my own thing. to show my self that i don't need a guy. that i can do my own thing and not have to settle down with kids. but, recently over this past year, i've found myself thinking maybe settling down and getting married sooner than later wouldn't be so bad. but, i dunno. there's a part of me that still wants to see the world, explore it before i have kids, if i do at all, i dunno. whether or not i'll have kids is a point of confusion for me. but, my friends always tell me that it's better to have someone to travel the world with, someone to share the beauty and the excitement with, which up until now i've disagreed with. now that i have a boyfriend, it makes me think, maybe there is still that part of me that really needs the companionship, or love, of a guy. i dunno. hmm.... confusion. well, average jane signing off.

times to remember

yeah so life is good. just mosying on through life. and you know i think life's gonna be okay. it'll be better in a couple of months, but, for now i'm good. yeah last night i had some friends over, including my boyfriend, and we watched this hilarious old tv show called Hogan's Heroes. yeah it's the funniest thing to watch. the best part was watching my boyfriend. most times he comes off as a serious guy. but, watching him last night, you'd think he was having the time of his life. it was great to hear his laughter, while holding his hand in mine. for last night, life was great. i was with my best friends and my boyfriend and we were cracking up over old tv shows. i wish i could have more nights like that. i cherish every one. average jane signing off.

thoughts of my guy

so it's official. i have a boyfriend. i never thought that i'd have a boyfriend in high school. much less an amzing, cute and sensitive one. i guess i just feel i am the luckiest girl in the world. yeah i find myself not acting like my normal sensible self. like i would never get worked up over a guy. and i also would not spend an hour on the phone talking to a guy. i really hate talking on the phone. most of the time i feel awkward and i can't think of what to talk about. but, with army man, i have so much to talk about with him. and he really opens up and it's so cool. but, also i normally don't get worked up over a guy and whether or not he likes me. but, ever since i found out army man liked me, i've found myself thinking of him out of the blue. and i can't wait to see him at school. it really makes my day to see him. anyhoo, average jane signing off.