Monday, September 11, 2006
thoughts on religion
so i was at the cathedral of the madeline just yesterday. and i was stunned at the beauty of the chapel. it was amzing. and there was just this feeling in being there that made me want to whisper. i really dont know what made me feel that. but, i loved the feeling of peace and calm that came over me. and then there was this choir that began to sing. it was made up of mostly male voices. and it was amzing. and i got to thinking about religion. it made me think about why i've been trying so hard to get away from it. and i think the real reason i've been trying so hard to get away from it is that i feel my parents have been shoving it down my throat, especially these last few years. and i came to realize that it's not the religion i hate, it's just the fact that my parents interpret it in a way that i don't agree with. maybe it's time to explore it on my own and come to my own conclusion about religion. and thinking about religion brought thoughts about marriage to mind, especially with me being in my first serious relationship. in my religion, or the one i've been raised in, teaches that a couple can be married in our temple and the marriage can last forever. and i've been thinking. if i love someone enough to marry them, wouldn't i want it to last forever? and wouldn't it be great to have something i believe in to help me through the especially hard times? i don't know. it's a path i think i must take to really find out for myself. also my boyfriend told me he was still planning on going on a mission for the LDS church. he asked me, if he goes on a mission, where would that leave us? and, i said, i don't know. that it all depends on whether or not we're still together. and i sincerely hope we are still together. but, that got me thinking even more about my church. and where my faith stood. and i'm more and more coming to the conclusion that it's time to really search it and study my religion for myself. average jane signing off.
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15 comments:
Amy, I'm so glad that you've come to this decision! I hope that you can figure out how you feel, and that youcan eventually forgive your parents for "shoving religion down your throat" ,because they only do it because they love you and want what is best for you.
yeah i guess you can thank dave in a way for a lot of this. because just having him as my boyfriend, and i guess this whole past week, has made me see that it's time to really, in a sense, grow up and find out what i really want and need in life.
Amy.... Do you know how many prayers have been answered even with just this step? I've fasted and prayed much over the past year for even just a glimmer of that "feeling" to reach you again--and I know I'm not the only one. Anyway, I don't want to sound like I'm rambling, so I'll stop there. Just know that I'm really happy that you've taken this great step. I'll be right there with you should you need anything, and even if the Church isn't what you want in the end, I'll still be there.
Well, gotta go. Have a good one!
Nathan said pretty much everything you needed, but I am truly glad for you. This is indeed an aswer to prayer. I know that you might be interested in Mormonism, although I would counsel you to consider Christianity as well (hopefully I'm not offending anyone else here, Nathan or Lydia, etc.).
Perhaps my early comments on the subject will have new meaning for you?
"...But, in your case, try to look at it in another way. I don't know who they [your parents] are or what religion they believe in (I myself am Christian, not Mormon), but perhaps they are just trying to watch out for you. It's not a fun prospect, when someone you care for dearly does not Believe. Like I said, I don't mean to shove this down your throat. I just wanted to say this, and please forgive me if it comes off as offensive, for I do not mean it that way at all. I don't really think "going athiest" is a good idea. Remember, if you're wrong, then there is no explanation for what is, and what isn't. What does exist, why it exists, our reason for being here, and what we must do in this life.
You could die tommorrow. Or this minute. It isn't too late--yet. But it could be--one day. And then it would be over for you. I wouldn't delay looking into this. Please don't be offended by what I say. I will try to leave you alone on this, since I know it is not good to hassle anyone in such a state of spiritual confusion (again, please do not take offense to my word usage). I really don't want to bother you. But I have to say this. Just know, if you ever want to discuss this further, say so, and I will do all within my power to aid you in any possible way I can. It pains me greatly, to see an unsaved person. (Please don't misunderstand that particular theological term please, it means "non-Christian" in this sense.) I have thought about this very much. I have read your blog with a heavy heart, having been given by God this feeling of worry, anxisouness, and concern for your eternal soul. It bothers me that I can't help you, about this subject and "army man". But this gives me greater worry. If it wouldn't bother you, I would like you to know that you are and will be in my prayers.
I don't mean to make myself sound good or anything, but I am the kind of person that just wants to help everybody. It just really bothers me when there is nothing I can do to help someone. I am especially bothered when ladies (in this case, you) need some sort of aid. If it were, say, physical, then I am mentally prepare to do what it takes. But this is a much more serious matter than just one's life. I will do what I can, do all in my power. But know this--the Lord God Jesus Christ, a just and merciful God, can do much more than my feeble person could ever even aspire to accomplish. Please just think this over before you commit yourself to the puzzling maze of the religion of athiesm. (I would say it was a religion since it deals with why we exist and other theological issues. If you disagree, please do not take offense here.) I really don't want to bother you (I am a little worried that this may sound just as offensive and condemning as it would from a "throat-forcer".), but I really feel I should say these things. As I said before, I have recently been guided a lot by feelings. It seems to be working out, at least in that sense. Just make sure you aren't making the wrong choice. What I say I say in genuine concern for your soul that God so created with his great and mighty hand. I do not wish to say anything that would in any way bother you. But it isn't accuse God of being "not good" to you just because things aren't exactly going your way. To be truthful the way of Christ is not one of easiness, but trusting in God is always the best course.
Here's a proposition for you. Try praying about this. Your friends have given you good advice on this subject. Don't expect the exact answer you want when you want it. Every prayer is answered, on God's time, but it might not always be the answer one might wish for. Seek God out, with a sincere heart, making sure that you are doing it the right way and really are sincere and not testing him in any way, and "You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." (Jeremiah 29:13 NIV). I know I said that before, but it is very applicable here. God exists. He loves you. I feel him every day of my life. Even now. He is terribly sad for you. And so am I. He loves you, and all He wants is to be able to call you one of His beloved children and to have you with Him forever in Heaven. He loves you, Amy. Can't you feel it?"
Remeber. This is your eternal soul we are talking about. Don't take it lightly. Do pray about it, and you will find him if you seek him purely. DON'T DELAY ON THIS, Amy. Don't wait. It could be your time. Angels will rejoice in Heaven upon any soul's conversion. It would be a sore tragedy indeed if you passed away before you made your choice--and to make that choice, is the reason we are all here in the first place.
If you ever need ANYTHING, in public or in private, just ask me. I will do all within my power to help you.
I'd rather die than see your soul unsaved. But, there is no need. Your Lord Jesus has already died for you--for the remission of your sins, and to save you. You can spend all of eternity with him in the Heavens. Think about this. I don't wish to be offensive either. But just think.
Your friend forever,
Spencer
thanx spencer and nathan. yes i am serious about all of this. i think it's about time to really reasses my life and see what is needed. i need to find out for myself what i believe. because i can't just live like this forever, caught in between not knowing what i believe. and thanx for all your prayers. they really are appreciated.
And they will keep on coming, too. HE listens.
And you're welcome. If you need ANYTHING or want to ask ANYTHING about my faith, then please do not hesitate to contact me. I would take it as an affront for you to not do it.
yeah, i think the best thing right now is just keep up the prayers. thanx plenty. it really means a lot.
It's no problem. I am simply honored. I pray for your soul daily.
Your friend always,
Spencer
thanx i'll always be grateful to you. you're just awsome
Aw...well that's sweet. But I think you are so there! :-P And there's no need to be grateful. It's God, not me! :-)
yeah god helps, but, friends do make life a lot more worth it.
Well, thank you. You are too sweet!
See ya on SP! (And I hope you join the Rebels LOL!!!)
heck ya i joined the rebels. and of course dave followed me.
And now he SALUTED me!!! I should salute HIM!!!!!!! Anyways it's great fun...I kinda always wanted to play general!!!
so your greatest dream is coming true! i salute you general Paleo!!!
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