happily ever after...forever

growing up, every little girl hears the fairytales about how the princess gets the prince charming and lives happily ever after. and as every little girl grows up, those fairytales stay with her. sometimes that is what they base how a relationship rates on a scale of happily ever after. sometimes, a girl can get lost inside fairytales retold, thinking she will never find that prince charming for her. sometimes too, a girl can say that her fairytale won't happen like that cuz like the song called cinderella, originally done by i5 and remade by the groups Play and The Cheetah Girls, whose chorus is " i dont wanna be like cinderalla sitting in a dark old dusty cellar, waiting for somebody to come and set me free. i don't wanna be like snow white waiting for somebody to come and save me on a horse of white, unless i'm riding side by side..."

i admit that a part of me is totally like the song cinderella...that i don't need anyone to come "save" me. but the other part of me wants the other part of the story. the fairytale romance. every little bit. i want to be swept off my feet. but, this part is kept hidden more or less because of my not needing to be rescued feeling...i dont' know why i wrote this but anyways....the point is that i've found my "fairytale romance". and it happened when i least expected it. i can't believe i got so lucky...honestly. i know i've probably said this like a million times, but i don't care. it's just me expressing how i love life.! i love jay! there i said it so the whole world can know! lol i love jay and he loves me.

anyhoo, also, even while i was still more active in the LDS church, i was never one to really really want a temple marriage. like it sounded cool, but it was like oh, yah whatev. i kind of just assumed i'd get married there and yah...like i didn't really imagine getting married anywhere else or any other way. then especially once i really started drifting away even more from religion, i didn't care. and it didn't really matter cuz there wasn't anyone in the near future in my life, that i would have to make that decision with. and then of course i made some choices that now make it not possible, for now at least. then , along came jay. :D lol and my mom actually said to me, after i was tellin her how much fun i had had with jay, how much i had enjoyed my time with him, " can't you see now this is how it's supposed to be like in a relationship? can't you see now why some people would want this to last forever? " and the funny thing is , yeah it now kind of has slowly been coming more clear. i can see why ppl want to be together forever. if that were possible i would work hard for it. which is actually why i am in the process of working my ... issues...out. i want to have a chance at that happily ever after...forever.

but yah...life is great! lol i'm in love. and loving it! i'm going crazy during the day though cuz i miss jay tonz! then again i just miss him all day long. cuz even though i get to talk to him at night...i really wish i could see him every night. lol but i'll have to survive with just a couple nights a week...lol it just feels like my life is complete when he is around, like everything is perfect. lol cuz it is... anyhooo...

oh and i just have to mention how much i love this lady at my work. her name is shawna and she is my life saver and the most amzing person here. no matter what crap ppl. may say about her, she has always got my back. and i will forever be grateful for that. cuz actually just today or yesterday, joyce (my supervisor) was complaining to shawna saying " why does amy need breaks? nobody else in this company gets a break. " and shawna said something to the effect of, " she needs those breaks. she doesn't get to wander the store. she is stuck at her desk." and joyce was all like, " oh is it that bad?" lol i love shawna!! :D he he

well that is enough for today!

laters

averagejane signing off!