so, anyone still watching my blog may be surprised to see that I am posting, after almost a year... i know. it's crazy. but, i've just had a pretty good day. one that has really struck me to come attempt to blog once again. also, one will notice that i have revamped my blog design. i'd say it was definitely about time. after the past year, i feel that a new start,of sorts, is in order.
to begin to explain, i saw my longtime friend from Cali tonight. it has been three years since we last were together. and yet, the time has flown and i cannot believe it has been that long. it feels like just yesterday we were developing our friendship, making jokes about being Mr. Collins and Cousin Elizabeth. :) those were some good times. one of the best times of my life. one where i knew where i stood. didn't have to worry about silly things like house payments ;) lol you never know how good you really have it when all you have to worry about is clothes and the occasional meal to pay for. no responsibilities beyond a job and/or school.
but i'm not saying that i want to get rid of my responsibilites that i have now. i really do enjoy my life, but i miss the person i let myself be back then. i need to find a way to incorporate my adventurous and carefree spirit into a life often dictated by responsibilties. i need to find out how to let go once in a while. thankfully, i got a chance tonight. i sat and laughed with friends, talked about the good times of high school, and watched my husband look at me like i was crazy ;) lol i had some good times. and most of that was because i had convinced myself that i didn't mind so much what ppl thought of what i did because my friends had accepted me as i was. i was able to be a goof. i was able to just let myself have fun. all too often lately, i find that i have become boring, predictable, and just no fun. i want to be able to let go so easily as i did in my high school years and a little beyond that. that is my goal for this coming year. i want to find my spunk and spirit again. i want to feel young, instead of an old married woman. that is a lot of my problem. and it all starts with me.
well, now that i babbled enough, i will go to bed. just one last thing, thanks to my friend for coming to visit. you have no idea how much it meant to me. it was a wonderful night, of which i hope many more are to come.
until next time, averagejane signing off.
