well, it's been a few days since i've written, but i have a good explanation. i got into an accident on tuesday and i've been in the hospital..... just kidding. about the hospital part though.... i really did get in an accident. it was only a fender bender. and only damaged my car really. it would cost me around the same to replace the parts i damaged as to get a new car. so my parents will prob. just get a new car eventually...but my car is okay and i'm okay. i had a little whiplash, but not too bad. and of course i got a ticket for negligent collision. you know, i don't really know why i was so distracted and why my car didn't stop or why i didn't just swerve. i had been texting a bit, but i had plenty of space to stop and i slammed on my brakes and i was only going like 45 mph. but i guess maybe i was just so distracted. but if i ever get caught in that sort of situation again, i will remember to swerve and save myself the ticket and the damage. but yeah.
oh and so that night when i was in the accident i was actually on my way to pick up chris to go to the rodeo. and i was all high strung when i got to his house, but he was so sweet and we just relaxed and i calmed down. he was amzing about all of it. it actually turned out to be better that we just hung out at his apartment. i really had a good time. and he was just so cute. it all turned out okay.
but then on wednesday, july fourth we ended up going to sugarhouse for the fireworks and i had a good time. it was really good fireworks, the best i've seen i have to admit. we walked back to my car. and then we hung there for a sec. and kissed. lol it was good...but then we managed to make it back to his place to hang for about 20 min. then he walked me to my car, and kissed me goodnight. then i managed to get home before midnight!!!! :D
but, thursday robert showed up for work. and it was kind of funny to see him. and you know? i really don't have such hard feelings for him. not anymore. i've kind of gotten over it sort of. like i still think he's a jerk, but i don't care anymore because i'm not gonna be fooled again. and i can actually talk to him civilly and say hi. but yeah. that chapter is closed, and we just exist as acquaintances.
but, so i have a "date" lol for saturday. somehow, my friend meisha ended up setting up a date with my cousin and she was talking to me about it and told me that she wanted to know if i wanted to come with her. so i told her sure. and i called up my bud nathan to see if he wanted to come with me! and it looks like we're gonna hang on saturday. cuz we haven't hung out for a month. but yeah that should be a blast.
anyhoo, so i thought that i should take things slower with chris. and i wasn't gonna do anything this weekend with chris, that's why i didn't ask him to come with me on saturday. but he might call tonight, and we'll probably do something. whether we go to a movie or just hang at his place.
oh and i have to put in a plug here. so there is something called net radio. it's really pretty much amzing. but ppl are trying to make it so costly that it would basically get rid of net radio. and i don't know how many of you listen to it. but for my sake and those that listen, take a stand. let your congressmen know that they shouldn't up the price of the net radio. thats why i put the banners on my blog. so please take a stand and go to savenetradio.org and do what you can!!! please cuz there is not much time left...
but yeah....well, that's all for this time. til later.
averagejane signing off!
oh and side note, so i hadn't worn my second piercing for a while and i tried to put an earring back in, and amzingly i got it back it. so yeah.... but i love life...:D
Friday, July 6, 2007
Sunday, July 1, 2007
a first time for everything...
so it's been a few days and it seems a lifetime of things has happened to me in them. i feel changed and different, just a tad older and more in control of my life. it's kind of nice. but let me tell you what's happened and you can see what i mean.
so on thursday i got the biggest shocker of my life. just when i thought i could really believe robert, it turns out i was wrong. i guess maybe i just wanted so much to believe him that i disbelieved what everyone else was telling me. everyone had told me that chris would never lie. and it took someone else coming up and telling me that robert did have a girlfriend and that they actually got engaged to wake me up. i was just sitting at my desk when gilbert from the pumps dept. came to my desk and said,' robert's girlfriend just came and was showing off her engagement ring.' and he said that robert had a smug/proud look on his face when she was showing it off...silly me to actually believe him. but chris came up about ten or so minutes later and the first thing i said to him was,' i'm sorry. i'm sorry that i didn't believe you were telling the truth.' and he said,' thanx.' and so i got that all sorted out. but i really wanted to slug robert so hard for lying to my face three consecutive times that he didn't have a girlfriend. i hate that i still believed him. but that's now in the past. but before i found all this out i actually told chris, ' you know, whatever drama has gone on, let's just forget it. i don't care anymore.' cuz chris is a great guy. but then he did turn out to be telling the truth. silly me for that. so then we still planned on going out on friday.
so the funny part of this whole story is that chris doesn't have a car. he has a motorcycle but is still trying hard to register it. so our date on friday, he walked from his place down to the dollar theater and we watched a movie and ate something at arbys. it was way fun. after the movie, we just sat on the back of my car and talked. about everything. it was so cool cuz not only is he a great listener, but he actually discusses things with me. that's one difference that i found from any other guy i have liked. and it was so amzing. and we got to talkin about the mtns. and i found that he loves to go up in the mtns. so we kind of said, oh one time we have to go up there. and he had a waterfall he wanted to show me. but we set no definite time. then, i had to leave to make it back a half hour after my curfew. my parents weren't really mad.
then saturday the 30th. i went to the taylorsville dayzz parade and i actually got a bit sunburnt. but i texted chris to see if he was awake yet. and he finally texted me around noon. and i was out delivering flyers for sumthing. and he asked me what my plans were for that day. and i told him i just had to pass out these flyers, do some dishes, then take a shower. but i asked him why. and he said that he wanted to show me his waterfall. so we made plans for me to call him as soon as i was ready. then i picked him up and we went up little cottonwood canyon and found his waterfall and actually explored off to the side of it. it was fun. then i told him about donut falls and he said he'd never been there. so he said, why dont' you show me. cuz he'd shown me somthing new so now i'd show him somthing new. so we drove up big cottonwood canyon. and i forgot how far up the canyon it was so i got scared that i was going the wrong way. but i found it. and so we drove up to the parking lot and found a space. then we began our hike. it didnt' take us too long to hike it. but then we got to the waterfall and you have to climb up to the place where the water actually falls. it was a little difficult geting up, but chris was so sweet and helped me up. there was actually one part that was so difficult that he really was helping me. and he pulled me up and i kind of fell into his arms. it was comfortable....but then we got to the top and he asked if i had ever been above the falls. and i hadnt' and told him i really was too scared to go up there. and he pestered me a little asking if i was curious to see what was up there. but then i said fine lets go. and he said, you don't have to if you dont' want to. i won't make you. but i said no i'm goin up. so i went up with him coming behind me. and you know. it was even more beautiful up there. it was breathtaking and gorgeous. i'm glad he pushed me to try going up. he's just a great guy to encourage me to try new things and get me out of the bubble i've been in so long. but then we waded in the little pool at the top, then decided to climb back down. we got back down to the main trail and i kind of kept slipping and such, so i held his hand for support. and then i said, i guess you'll just have to hold my hand so i don't fall. and then we held hands the whole way down. it was amzing... he's so sweet. but then i took him home and dropped him off about 7 pm. then i went home and got ready for the fireworks cuz my pants were all dusty from the hike. but so then at about 9 pm i went and picked him up and we went to the fireworks. he met my parents and they were nice and such. but then we went and found our own spot and laid down to watch the fireworks. we ended up holding hands. and then after the fireworks were over, we just stayed in the park, just cuddling and talking. there were moments of silence but they were reflective silence rather than uncomfortable. it was way nice. then about 11:39 i checked my phone and said, i probably should go so i make curfew. and he said yeah maybe you should. but then i bent to get my flip flops and he put his arm around me and pulled me close saying 'you're not going anywhere!' lol and i just snuggled up to him and didnt argue cuz i didn't want to leave. but then at one point i turned to look at him and he was looking at me. then his hand went to my chin and he pulled me close, and kissed me. it was so cute. it wasn't perfect as this was my first kiss. but it was so cute nonetheless. *sigh* and i told him it was my first kiss. and he was so cute about it and how i was not experienced in kissing. but then we did leave cuz it was now like 12:10 or so in the morning. so then we walked back to my car, hand in hand. and i drove him home. once i got to his apartment, i turned off the car and just sat there with him. cuz i didn't want him to go. but then he turned to me and kissed me several more times. i think i did better kissing those times. but i feel that i will have many chances to improve.... :D so i look forward to whatever comes of this.
of course i didn't tell my parents of this or my sister rachel. cuz i don't know how they would react. i told only holly. cuz she understands... it's nice. but yeah. i was floating on cloud nine last night and i can't wait to see him tomorrow. *sigh* my life is going right for once. and it's totally been unplanned...
average jane signing off...(i'm so far gone...)
so on thursday i got the biggest shocker of my life. just when i thought i could really believe robert, it turns out i was wrong. i guess maybe i just wanted so much to believe him that i disbelieved what everyone else was telling me. everyone had told me that chris would never lie. and it took someone else coming up and telling me that robert did have a girlfriend and that they actually got engaged to wake me up. i was just sitting at my desk when gilbert from the pumps dept. came to my desk and said,' robert's girlfriend just came and was showing off her engagement ring.' and he said that robert had a smug/proud look on his face when she was showing it off...silly me to actually believe him. but chris came up about ten or so minutes later and the first thing i said to him was,' i'm sorry. i'm sorry that i didn't believe you were telling the truth.' and he said,' thanx.' and so i got that all sorted out. but i really wanted to slug robert so hard for lying to my face three consecutive times that he didn't have a girlfriend. i hate that i still believed him. but that's now in the past. but before i found all this out i actually told chris, ' you know, whatever drama has gone on, let's just forget it. i don't care anymore.' cuz chris is a great guy. but then he did turn out to be telling the truth. silly me for that. so then we still planned on going out on friday.
so the funny part of this whole story is that chris doesn't have a car. he has a motorcycle but is still trying hard to register it. so our date on friday, he walked from his place down to the dollar theater and we watched a movie and ate something at arbys. it was way fun. after the movie, we just sat on the back of my car and talked. about everything. it was so cool cuz not only is he a great listener, but he actually discusses things with me. that's one difference that i found from any other guy i have liked. and it was so amzing. and we got to talkin about the mtns. and i found that he loves to go up in the mtns. so we kind of said, oh one time we have to go up there. and he had a waterfall he wanted to show me. but we set no definite time. then, i had to leave to make it back a half hour after my curfew. my parents weren't really mad.
then saturday the 30th. i went to the taylorsville dayzz parade and i actually got a bit sunburnt. but i texted chris to see if he was awake yet. and he finally texted me around noon. and i was out delivering flyers for sumthing. and he asked me what my plans were for that day. and i told him i just had to pass out these flyers, do some dishes, then take a shower. but i asked him why. and he said that he wanted to show me his waterfall. so we made plans for me to call him as soon as i was ready. then i picked him up and we went up little cottonwood canyon and found his waterfall and actually explored off to the side of it. it was fun. then i told him about donut falls and he said he'd never been there. so he said, why dont' you show me. cuz he'd shown me somthing new so now i'd show him somthing new. so we drove up big cottonwood canyon. and i forgot how far up the canyon it was so i got scared that i was going the wrong way. but i found it. and so we drove up to the parking lot and found a space. then we began our hike. it didnt' take us too long to hike it. but then we got to the waterfall and you have to climb up to the place where the water actually falls. it was a little difficult geting up, but chris was so sweet and helped me up. there was actually one part that was so difficult that he really was helping me. and he pulled me up and i kind of fell into his arms. it was comfortable....but then we got to the top and he asked if i had ever been above the falls. and i hadnt' and told him i really was too scared to go up there. and he pestered me a little asking if i was curious to see what was up there. but then i said fine lets go. and he said, you don't have to if you dont' want to. i won't make you. but i said no i'm goin up. so i went up with him coming behind me. and you know. it was even more beautiful up there. it was breathtaking and gorgeous. i'm glad he pushed me to try going up. he's just a great guy to encourage me to try new things and get me out of the bubble i've been in so long. but then we waded in the little pool at the top, then decided to climb back down. we got back down to the main trail and i kind of kept slipping and such, so i held his hand for support. and then i said, i guess you'll just have to hold my hand so i don't fall. and then we held hands the whole way down. it was amzing... he's so sweet. but then i took him home and dropped him off about 7 pm. then i went home and got ready for the fireworks cuz my pants were all dusty from the hike. but so then at about 9 pm i went and picked him up and we went to the fireworks. he met my parents and they were nice and such. but then we went and found our own spot and laid down to watch the fireworks. we ended up holding hands. and then after the fireworks were over, we just stayed in the park, just cuddling and talking. there were moments of silence but they were reflective silence rather than uncomfortable. it was way nice. then about 11:39 i checked my phone and said, i probably should go so i make curfew. and he said yeah maybe you should. but then i bent to get my flip flops and he put his arm around me and pulled me close saying 'you're not going anywhere!' lol and i just snuggled up to him and didnt argue cuz i didn't want to leave. but then at one point i turned to look at him and he was looking at me. then his hand went to my chin and he pulled me close, and kissed me. it was so cute. it wasn't perfect as this was my first kiss. but it was so cute nonetheless. *sigh* and i told him it was my first kiss. and he was so cute about it and how i was not experienced in kissing. but then we did leave cuz it was now like 12:10 or so in the morning. so then we walked back to my car, hand in hand. and i drove him home. once i got to his apartment, i turned off the car and just sat there with him. cuz i didn't want him to go. but then he turned to me and kissed me several more times. i think i did better kissing those times. but i feel that i will have many chances to improve.... :D so i look forward to whatever comes of this.
of course i didn't tell my parents of this or my sister rachel. cuz i don't know how they would react. i told only holly. cuz she understands... it's nice. but yeah. i was floating on cloud nine last night and i can't wait to see him tomorrow. *sigh* my life is going right for once. and it's totally been unplanned...
average jane signing off...(i'm so far gone...)
Labels:
boys,
dates,
growing up,
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kisses,
love life,
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Wednesday, June 27, 2007
it will be okay...time will heal all things...
well, so i have to admit that the first part of work today was hell to get through. and last night i couldn't sleep and couldn't figure out what to do. but i think i have figured out some portion of it.
almost everything i feel is telling me to believe robert. i know him just a tad better and he has always been serious and upfront with me. also, chris all but admitted his guilt when he didn't show up to work today. and the other thing is that his closest friend casey is also upset with him that he stooped that low as to tell lies to get a girl. like robert said, a girl isn't worth a friendship. or in my case, if i were in his situation, a guy isn't worth a friendship. i learned that the hard way. but yeah. and i told robert that everything is telling me to believe him and for that reason i will give chris a chance. but i asked two things of robert. i told him i would like to meet his sister. and he agreed. then i asked that he call me tonight. i gave him my cell phone number. and he said he'd call. he even had it memorized before he left work today. it was kind of flattering. but he said he'd call tonight. and i hope he doesn't disappoint. especially now that i'm really gonna trust him.
but i think things will be okay. hmm...but i'm waiting for him to call and i got two texts simultaneously and it totally set my heart racing. it was funny! :D but i better post this!
averagejane signing off... (things will be okay. he still likes me!)
almost everything i feel is telling me to believe robert. i know him just a tad better and he has always been serious and upfront with me. also, chris all but admitted his guilt when he didn't show up to work today. and the other thing is that his closest friend casey is also upset with him that he stooped that low as to tell lies to get a girl. like robert said, a girl isn't worth a friendship. or in my case, if i were in his situation, a guy isn't worth a friendship. i learned that the hard way. but yeah. and i told robert that everything is telling me to believe him and for that reason i will give chris a chance. but i asked two things of robert. i told him i would like to meet his sister. and he agreed. then i asked that he call me tonight. i gave him my cell phone number. and he said he'd call. he even had it memorized before he left work today. it was kind of flattering. but he said he'd call tonight. and i hope he doesn't disappoint. especially now that i'm really gonna trust him.
but i think things will be okay. hmm...but i'm waiting for him to call and i got two texts simultaneously and it totally set my heart racing. it was funny! :D but i better post this!
averagejane signing off... (things will be okay. he still likes me!)
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
don't know who to believe anymore....
i don't know who or what to believe anymore. honestly, cuz i confronted robert today about what chris had told me. of course not saying that i had heard it from chris. (i started typing robert instead of chris....god i have robert on my mind... i'm helpless) but he told me straight to my face that he doesn't have a girlfriend or fiance. that emily really is his sister. and he told me he'd bring her in and introduce her to me as his sister and such. and i was gonna tell him i wanted him to do that. but i forgot. but we talked and he answered all my questions and admitted guilt to some things. like he admitted telling chris the day after he had asked me out to go ask me out. cuz by then he had realized how much chris really liked me. and he admitted that he was with chris on friday. cuz he was supposed to stand me up and that's supposedly why we got cut off on the phone cuz chris came up. and when i confronted robert about how chris had said robert had a little girl, robert said that was true. he does have a little girl, presumably from a previous marriage. but then he told me once again that he was and still is very much interested in me. but he's letting chris have a chance and see if things work out between me and chris. but he says he doesn't think they will work out, but the reason he called me friday night is because he got to thinking that if things didn't work out between me and chris, and then me and him, robert, started goin out and got serious... well, he didn't want me to completely hate him. i mean how could he be the one in the wrong. but maybe i am partially biased in robert's case. i don't know. but i'm goin out with chris this weekend. though i don't know what to do with him. cuz he came up to me and apologized for jerking me around. but i don't know if that means he was partially lying to me or if it means that he just is sorry that i'm gettin so jerked around...i dont' know. but i have to admit that i need to figure this all out soon or else i will seriously go crazy...
average jane signing off....
average jane signing off....
Monday, June 25, 2007
confused and hurt
so, things are not as they seemed to be, i think. cuz i got some new information, that very much makes sense. more than robert did, though i still am being cautious with everything. so here it is.
robert was supposed to call me on saturday, and didn't. so today i saw him and he said that he was so sorry that he didn't call and that he just spaced it. and i was like, 'uh huh...' and i told him i had gotten a cell phone and he asked if he could have it. and i was gonna give it to him. but he never came to get it from me. so i was waiting for chris to aske me out, cuz robert said he would today. so then closing time came and chris came up to me and we talked. he came up and told me that robert was just a big liar. and chris said he'd been just staying on the sidelines of this, but felt that he couldn't just watch me get into this deeper and get hurt. so he explained that the girl that robert kept saying was his sister is actually his girlfriend. actually his fiance. and that they are to be married in two weeks. that robert doesnt' even have a sister. also, it turns out that friday night, robert really was standing me up. turns out his girlfriend got off work early, and he and chris and she went bowling that night. and that he must have been calling me from there, cuz he called from a pay phone. and all that story about chris and him getting in a fight and chris wanting him to stand me up, seems to be a lie. i still don't know that all this is true for sure. but i want to know what is true. because parts of chris' story really make sense. like why robert said no to doing anything else on friday. cuz he was with his girlfriend. and just other little tidbits making sense. but i guess i just want to believe so hard that one person is really a great guy, cuz i want to meet a great guy that really, truly is interested in me that maybe i'm trying too hard to make them right. also , it seems that robert was married before and has a little girl. and that he had a girlfriend while he was married and a mistress. that part i don't really have a way to know for sure it's true. but it doesn't matter all too much to me now. i just want to know if robert does have a girlfriend/fiance. i think i'll shock him into tripping up and admitting something. like just say, 'so how's your girlfriend?' but yeah.
so me and chris talked for quite some time after work. i left work around 5:40ish. cuz me and chris were just talking and talking and it really was nice. but i ended up giving him a ride a little ways and dropping him off at a bus stop near my house and he caught a bus to his house. but on the drive to the bus stop we talked about a lot of things. also, as i stopped to let him out, he asked me, 'so are you doing anything friday?' and i said,'umm...no.' he then said, ' so we should do something then.' and i said 'definitely.' so he said,' i'll see you at work tomorrow.' and i said yeah. then i drove off as he walked to the bus stop and i waved goodbye and he waved bye also. but i think this might work out. but i'm gonna just be cautious still.
so yeah that's the new drama. i have to admit i so want to just go up to him and yell at him. and punch him really hard. cuz i also can't believe i was so stupid to believe him. but now i will get down to the bottom of all this.
anyhoo, tha's it. so i'll be okay. i'm working it all through...
averagejane signing off
robert was supposed to call me on saturday, and didn't. so today i saw him and he said that he was so sorry that he didn't call and that he just spaced it. and i was like, 'uh huh...' and i told him i had gotten a cell phone and he asked if he could have it. and i was gonna give it to him. but he never came to get it from me. so i was waiting for chris to aske me out, cuz robert said he would today. so then closing time came and chris came up to me and we talked. he came up and told me that robert was just a big liar. and chris said he'd been just staying on the sidelines of this, but felt that he couldn't just watch me get into this deeper and get hurt. so he explained that the girl that robert kept saying was his sister is actually his girlfriend. actually his fiance. and that they are to be married in two weeks. that robert doesnt' even have a sister. also, it turns out that friday night, robert really was standing me up. turns out his girlfriend got off work early, and he and chris and she went bowling that night. and that he must have been calling me from there, cuz he called from a pay phone. and all that story about chris and him getting in a fight and chris wanting him to stand me up, seems to be a lie. i still don't know that all this is true for sure. but i want to know what is true. because parts of chris' story really make sense. like why robert said no to doing anything else on friday. cuz he was with his girlfriend. and just other little tidbits making sense. but i guess i just want to believe so hard that one person is really a great guy, cuz i want to meet a great guy that really, truly is interested in me that maybe i'm trying too hard to make them right. also , it seems that robert was married before and has a little girl. and that he had a girlfriend while he was married and a mistress. that part i don't really have a way to know for sure it's true. but it doesn't matter all too much to me now. i just want to know if robert does have a girlfriend/fiance. i think i'll shock him into tripping up and admitting something. like just say, 'so how's your girlfriend?' but yeah.
so me and chris talked for quite some time after work. i left work around 5:40ish. cuz me and chris were just talking and talking and it really was nice. but i ended up giving him a ride a little ways and dropping him off at a bus stop near my house and he caught a bus to his house. but on the drive to the bus stop we talked about a lot of things. also, as i stopped to let him out, he asked me, 'so are you doing anything friday?' and i said,'umm...no.' he then said, ' so we should do something then.' and i said 'definitely.' so he said,' i'll see you at work tomorrow.' and i said yeah. then i drove off as he walked to the bus stop and i waved goodbye and he waved bye also. but i think this might work out. but i'm gonna just be cautious still.
so yeah that's the new drama. i have to admit i so want to just go up to him and yell at him. and punch him really hard. cuz i also can't believe i was so stupid to believe him. but now i will get down to the bottom of all this.
anyhoo, tha's it. so i'll be okay. i'm working it all through...
averagejane signing off
Saturday, June 23, 2007
so more craziness....
so hey for my friend's sake i'm coming on to say, ' i made it back safe and sound from my hangout with jesse!' but at the same time, things are different. cuz here's what happened.
well, the hangout started out like 15-20 minutes late cuz i got lost and couldn't find parking. but then i caught up with jesse and we really had a good time. it was fun to be able to hang out and just chat. cuz when we first met, we went to dinner and a movie, and didn't have much time to talk. so this time was good. but near the end of our hangout, we went into the virgin megastore at gateway, cuz it had some sale cuz it was closing. and i have come to love the store for its sales. so we wandered around and talked and looked at cds and movies. then as we were walkin up to pay for my cd, jesse put his arm around my waist and said, 'i'm sorry for not talking much.' and i told him it was alright. and that i talk a lot. and when he put his arm around my waist for that brief few seconds, that's when i first wondered if he had started to really like me. and looking back, he seemed to recall bits about my life i had told him that i wouldn't have expected someone to remember. cuz i mentioned my ex. and he immediately said, 'dave?' like he remembered his name. this happened with a couple of other little facts. but then when we went up to the counter to pay, he saw that they had harry potter 1 and 2 for half off. so i was like oh... i want those...hmm.. and he did the whole arm around my waist thing but a bit different and longer. so i began to suspect something more. but it wasnt' until we were in the parking lot under the gateway that i began to think really much of anything. he walked me to my car and i was saying goodbye. then he put his arms on my waist as i was facing him and pulled me closer to him. he then said, ' i know this is out of the blue, but do you want to go out with me?' and i kind of hesitated. and he said, 'it's okay to say yes or no, either way.' and i said, 'possibly' and he said 'it's okay to say no.' and i said, 'i'd like to go on dates with you, but not boyfriend/girlfriend like.' and he said okay. then we said goodbye, hugged and he went to find his car.
then i came home and i was like oh what am i getting myself into....so i wrote him an email clarifying that i would like to go on dates, but just as friends, so i guess that's more of a hangout. but i told him that there is actually a guy i'm interested in right now. and that's robert. i like him and i want the chance to get to know him better. cuz he's way nice. and cute and funny. and i really want to go on a date with him. i wish that chris didn't have to be in the way. but i know how it hurts to lose a friendship. it really bites. and i am not gonna be the reason that robert and chris' friendship dies. so yeah. but maybe after i go on one date with chris, it'll work itself out. cuz i don't want to hurt chris' feelings. but i really want to go on a date with robert....it's way too complicated. oh well, at least it's not three guys anymore that i have to worry about. i'm glad i dealt with that before i dragged myself into a mess where i hurt a friend i care about. so yeah...
but i really did have a good day. i'm just tired....oh and i got my cell phone! it's exciting cuz i love being able to text ppl and call them. like i called jesse to know i'd be a little late. and i called home to tell them i'd be home in like 20 min. to 1/2 an hour. it was nice...but yeah. i just hope robert calls tonight. he said he would, but we got cut off yesterday in the middle of our conversation, so he might think i'm mad at him....or sumthin like that... so i still hope he calls. but hey i g2g...
average jane signing off...(life is crazy, but it'll settle soon..)
well, the hangout started out like 15-20 minutes late cuz i got lost and couldn't find parking. but then i caught up with jesse and we really had a good time. it was fun to be able to hang out and just chat. cuz when we first met, we went to dinner and a movie, and didn't have much time to talk. so this time was good. but near the end of our hangout, we went into the virgin megastore at gateway, cuz it had some sale cuz it was closing. and i have come to love the store for its sales. so we wandered around and talked and looked at cds and movies. then as we were walkin up to pay for my cd, jesse put his arm around my waist and said, 'i'm sorry for not talking much.' and i told him it was alright. and that i talk a lot. and when he put his arm around my waist for that brief few seconds, that's when i first wondered if he had started to really like me. and looking back, he seemed to recall bits about my life i had told him that i wouldn't have expected someone to remember. cuz i mentioned my ex. and he immediately said, 'dave?' like he remembered his name. this happened with a couple of other little facts. but then when we went up to the counter to pay, he saw that they had harry potter 1 and 2 for half off. so i was like oh... i want those...hmm.. and he did the whole arm around my waist thing but a bit different and longer. so i began to suspect something more. but it wasnt' until we were in the parking lot under the gateway that i began to think really much of anything. he walked me to my car and i was saying goodbye. then he put his arms on my waist as i was facing him and pulled me closer to him. he then said, ' i know this is out of the blue, but do you want to go out with me?' and i kind of hesitated. and he said, 'it's okay to say yes or no, either way.' and i said, 'possibly' and he said 'it's okay to say no.' and i said, 'i'd like to go on dates with you, but not boyfriend/girlfriend like.' and he said okay. then we said goodbye, hugged and he went to find his car.
then i came home and i was like oh what am i getting myself into....so i wrote him an email clarifying that i would like to go on dates, but just as friends, so i guess that's more of a hangout. but i told him that there is actually a guy i'm interested in right now. and that's robert. i like him and i want the chance to get to know him better. cuz he's way nice. and cute and funny. and i really want to go on a date with him. i wish that chris didn't have to be in the way. but i know how it hurts to lose a friendship. it really bites. and i am not gonna be the reason that robert and chris' friendship dies. so yeah. but maybe after i go on one date with chris, it'll work itself out. cuz i don't want to hurt chris' feelings. but i really want to go on a date with robert....it's way too complicated. oh well, at least it's not three guys anymore that i have to worry about. i'm glad i dealt with that before i dragged myself into a mess where i hurt a friend i care about. so yeah...
but i really did have a good day. i'm just tired....oh and i got my cell phone! it's exciting cuz i love being able to text ppl and call them. like i called jesse to know i'd be a little late. and i called home to tell them i'd be home in like 20 min. to 1/2 an hour. it was nice...but yeah. i just hope robert calls tonight. he said he would, but we got cut off yesterday in the middle of our conversation, so he might think i'm mad at him....or sumthin like that... so i still hope he calls. but hey i g2g...
average jane signing off...(life is crazy, but it'll settle soon..)
Friday, June 22, 2007
he didn't stand me up...but...
so he wasn't standing me up. i thought he was. but i just got a call from him like 5 minutes ago. so things are semi okay. but at the same time, they're semi screwed up. here it all is
well, so i mentioned how oyuna wanted to set me up with chris. well, turns out chris is way interested in me. and he got way upset that robert asked me out. so chris wanted robert to not call and just make me think he stood me up. but robert being the nice guy, finally called. cuz he didn't want to lose chris' friendship, but he is way interested in me, he told me all of this, and said that he really wanted to take me out on a date, several dates in fact, but he couldnt' lose his friend. and i really understand how it hurts to lose a friend, so i understand a good amount. so i won't be goin on a date with robert. but i think i will get to in time. i hope so. but it also turns out that chris thinks i'm really interested in him and that oyuna said something to make him think so. but while i like chris, i'm not really really interested in him, yet, as he may think. oyuna must have mistaken my saying i'd love for her to set us up. i was more excited at the prospect of a date with a funny guy. cuz i know i'd have a good time with chris. but also, it seems that chris was probably gonna ask me around the same time robert did. hm...but so robert thinks that chris will ask me out when he sees me on monday. so robert says he wants to let me go out with chris and see how that goes. gosh i've never had this problem of guys fighting over me. cuz that's what happened, according to robert. he and chris got into a fight over me... :( thats' depressing.
but i'm okay. and robert said he would call me tomorrow just to talk. oh my gosh he's perfect. cuz he said that he would like to call me tomorrow, just to talk, then asked me if that was okay. i didn't realize he was so gentlemanly! :D he's perfect! but i still will go out with chris if he asks me...
anyhoo, averagejane signing off....it's been a long day...
well, so i mentioned how oyuna wanted to set me up with chris. well, turns out chris is way interested in me. and he got way upset that robert asked me out. so chris wanted robert to not call and just make me think he stood me up. but robert being the nice guy, finally called. cuz he didn't want to lose chris' friendship, but he is way interested in me, he told me all of this, and said that he really wanted to take me out on a date, several dates in fact, but he couldnt' lose his friend. and i really understand how it hurts to lose a friend, so i understand a good amount. so i won't be goin on a date with robert. but i think i will get to in time. i hope so. but it also turns out that chris thinks i'm really interested in him and that oyuna said something to make him think so. but while i like chris, i'm not really really interested in him, yet, as he may think. oyuna must have mistaken my saying i'd love for her to set us up. i was more excited at the prospect of a date with a funny guy. cuz i know i'd have a good time with chris. but also, it seems that chris was probably gonna ask me around the same time robert did. hm...but so robert thinks that chris will ask me out when he sees me on monday. so robert says he wants to let me go out with chris and see how that goes. gosh i've never had this problem of guys fighting over me. cuz that's what happened, according to robert. he and chris got into a fight over me... :( thats' depressing.
but i'm okay. and robert said he would call me tomorrow just to talk. oh my gosh he's perfect. cuz he said that he would like to call me tomorrow, just to talk, then asked me if that was okay. i didn't realize he was so gentlemanly! :D he's perfect! but i still will go out with chris if he asks me...
anyhoo, averagejane signing off....it's been a long day...
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