missing him but lovin cali!! :D

hey all!!!! so i'm in cali right now!! that is california!!! :D but i'm incredibly bored so here is my update since i've been so busy and not much time to write!!!

well, as most of my friends who read this know, i'm in california right now on family vacation. we came for disneyland!!! it's been two years since we came last and i am glad to be back. but at the same time i am terribly missing some people. like right now and for the past few days i have been terribly missing a guy i'm sort of dating. it's complicated. well, i've mentioned him before. his name is chris... and i have been missing him something fierce. i actually just had to call him last night on my sister's phone, cuz mine has no service outside utah!! :( bummer!! but i got to talk to him for about fifteen minutes which was good for me. but as we were driving yesterday, it seemed that he was all i could think about. just wanting him close to me. but alas, he is so far away. and this is totally not like me. and i'm the one who wanted to slow things down, but here i am a lot of miles away ( i don't know the exact amount) and i'm missing him terribly!!! what is wrong with me.... but yeah. so that is my babble about chris for now....

but, i really am excited for disneyland. i love that place. of course the first ride me and my sister rachel are goin on is pirates of the carribean!!! i so can't wait. and then the tower of terror at least a few hundred times!!! lol but yeah. oh and btw, i'm typing all this on my sister rachels laptop! she brought it with her andn we have free wireless internet at our hotel.... but i really can't wait for tomorrow!!! and i'm sure the week will just fly by cuz i'll be having so much fun!!!

but i just have to mention again that i'm missing chris a lot... but i'll see him in a week! cuz i'm calling him as soon as i get back and i'll show up at his place. but yeah i'm just so far gone. and i'm not really sure what to do. cuz even though i want to slow it down to be safe, whenever i'm near him i don't want to leave. he makes me happy and laugh, and makes me believe in myself and push life to the limits. it's great. cuz no one has ever really done that for me before. like i know my mom says you can do it! go for it. but that is mostly in academics. chris pulls me out of my books and pulls me into real life and real experiences! its' the most amzing feeling especially to know he's there beside me all the way. cuz i know he only wants the best for me. and i think i'm in his life for a reason. cuz i think he really wants to quit smoking, but i need to be here to provide some extra motivation!!! yeah, he's helped me so much all ready, now it's my turn! so here i go. oh god, i miss him. his arms around me, his kisses....lol

enough said, so it's been crazy. but i got to go!!!

average jane signing off!!! (disneyland here i come!!! chris, honey, see you soon!! :D )

a good movie, but better if i had my friend to share it with

so i went and saw pirates of the carribean 3 last night at 8pm!!!! can i just say amzing!!! it was so good. very well put together and so suspenseful! i was on the edge of my seat, literally, for at least half of the movie. and jack sparrow is a hoot! he keeps the movie running once again. my favorite line from him is "Nobody move! I lost my brain!!" lol you'll just have to see it to understand what i'm talkin about. oh and we got these free scarves that have a skull and cross bones on them that come from disneyland and cost $22.00 normally!!! they are so cool!! i'm wearing mine to school today to show it off. cuz i mean it's a shame to get it and not be able to wear it just cuz it's summer and warmish weather already! lol anyhoo, so that was awsome.

but also i came on to say that i miss my best friend, a lot. i miss how we used to talk about everything. and i know that i'm to blame for half of it falling apart. i need to just get over whatever unresolved issues i have with dave or steph. cuz i miss having her to talk to. and i'm sort of letting my pride get in the way of us being just friends again. like i'm not sayin i can be best friends again and trust her just as much. but i miss her as just a friend. i miss talking to her and telling her my good and bad stuff. and for the second time in the longest while, my mom said something that actually was something i could use. she said that sometimes you just need to renegotiate a relationship. because i think the hardest thing is that i want our relationship to be the same, when it's not. so maybe it's time to just start over and create a new relationship with steph as just friends, someone i can talk to. and actually not necessarily starting over. just reorganizing our friendship so that we don't keep making these stupid mistakes. cuz no matter how many times i say that oh i have other friends and that i can survive without a best friend, i still want steph as my friend. i want to be happy for her when she gets married. i want to be her best friend supporting her through whatever decisions she makes, even if i don't always agree. cuz that's what friendship is about. we've both made mistakes. we've both been at fault. and once again i let my pride get in the way. so i guess i'm just sayin that i miss steph a lot....

so maybe i'll print this out for her to read, cuz i know if i try to tell her it all, i'll probably just start crying. and i've already done enough crying....

anyhoo, i'm okay and i hope i can work things out...

averagejane signing off..
(oh ps. so i might get to move up in my job at steve regan. i'll explain later! )