oh the randomness...lol

so you know how they say the little things are what matter? well, some times it's the little things that drag you down...and some times it's the little things that make your day...little things can add up to big things that make you sad, depressed..sometimes. but then there are the little things friends do that can just make you smile. a guy at work was that for me. he just did somethin so little and funny that made me smile and will keep me goin today...

just another random thought. sometimes you feel like you've grown so apart from your friends that you don't know how to be friends anymore. like sure you talk sometimes...but it's sporadic. you called them your best friend...still call them that...but ur not so sure anymore. then those that you really do call your best friend and know that you mean it and they feel the same way. the hard part is that they can't be physically there for you sometimes cuz they have their own life going on and have to take opportunities as they come...but thank god for spring break!! lol

but that's my babble. despite how depressing parts of this sounds, i really am becoming okay with life. i mean there are days and situations that get you down. i sure as hell am not perfect! some will get me down more than others. but i am determined to not stay down for long.

and jsut so that it's in writing...i'm really gonna not go for any guy...like no serious relationship or any possibility. i will continue to date and meet new ppl...i found out that it just doesn't work trying to stay completely away from guys..lol but no guy gets past the first date. i can be jsut friends with guys but nothing romantic-wise past the first date ...lol this may seem silly but it's for my own good. lol

average jane signing off

the great excitement

so here i am ready to tell you all what had me so excited!!! :D lol

I GOT A CAR!!! lol it's a big deal cuz i've been borrowing my parents car and having them drive me to work and such...and it's my first car!!! :D lol i'm really stoked if you can't tell....


lol but i've got lots of texts to reply to now so i'll post later!!!

averagejane signing off!! :D

hullo again...

hullo all!! so i figured that along with my renewed goal to just be upbeat all day....every day... that i would do a morning blog post. seeing as i come to work and sit with a computer in front of me and i'm not doing too much... i can do that!! :D lol but, as i get busier at work, i might have to change to bloggin at night...


lol so life is going good. the thing i mentioned yesterday is going as planned so it should all be finished by this saturday...but the majority of it settled by thursday! so you special friends of mine will get texts and emails thursday night i believe!!! ;D lol

but so i probably should get to work...lol what an idea! (i know...) but i've got to finish updatin our MSDS files!! lol

averagejane signing off!! love ya all.

fantastical days-it's all in the attitude!!! :D

okay jsut a note to those concerned....i'm okay! lol i was overreacting to something that i've got in control now! lol silly me

but life is just fantastic. one thing i've been waiting for a while to come, finally might be. i say might cuz things haven't been finalized quite yet. so i just dont want to say much in case i jinx it. that means no tellin what it is heath!! :D lol luv ya sis. but i'm really stoked. if all goes well you will either receive a text or an email by thursday or friday lettin you all know what this fantastic thing is...lol you may think i'm silly, but heck i am! lol and proud of it.

hmm...so life is just good. i got so much done at work today and i'm totally proud of myself. i was determined today would be a good one and it was. lol i made great effort to sound especially cheerful when i answered the phone...lol it was coolio! and now i'm just sittin at work, wishing i could take my shoes off cuz my feet are hot...lol i don't like shoes much btw. but since i have to wear them, i wear flip flops when possible and i make sure i have cute keds to wear when flip flops just aren't possible lol.... but yeah, i think i'll switch to flip flops when i get home.. or just no shoes at all! cuz it's a heat wave here at work and my hometown...lol it's 50 degrees farenheit i think! :D lol

oh and this morning there was the freakin' coolest fog over everything. i love fog and i am extremely fascinated by it. actually the other night...last friday the 22nd, there was this really cool fog as i was drivin home for the night around 1 am...actually it would have been the 23rd by then...lol but it was so cool. the fog was so dense!!! my goal someday is to find a place where the fog is so dense you can barely see your hand a few inches in front of you. then i will play tag!!! lol that would be so much fun!!! lol

another thing i have a goal to do someday, is to find tall corn or wheat field, tall enough you can't see eachother at all. like at least six feet tall corn stalks or wheat stalks, and then play tag there too. or hide 'n go seek. that would be extremely fun!!! lol yeah i know these goals are childish but they are just so cool!! lol

but yeah...tha's me for today! in a fantastic mood!! hope you all have a fantabulous evening!!!

averagejane signing off!! :D

i know better....

so why can't i say no? i thought i learned that from my last relationship...that i needed to be stronger and say no...well, this is a not so drastic situation where i really need to say no, but am finding myself not saying it. i like kissing him, that is the biggest problem. i know that i'll only break his heart again, yet here i go. i really need to stop this before it goes any farther...like just that he gets his hopes up and i just crush him. i need to just stop myself from being selfish and going for it cuz i like it rather than i really like him... i like talking to him as a friend...i'll talk to him tonight after we go to the movie...or before...i dunno...but i've got to talk to him tonight.... tell him that i can't break his heart again...cuz i know i will. i like flirting with him and the feel of his arms around me but it's not his arms that i like, it's just the feeling of someone's arms. or maybe it's his arms...ugh. to be honest i think it's just the feeling of someone's arms securely around me...

did i mention he quit drinking....he hasn't touched a drop in a month...that is totally amzing of him to be honest....i'm so proud of him. but yeah....

anyhoo...i'll talk to him tonight...

oh and i hate that i don't talk to r. anymore... i really should talk to him. i will on monday...

averagejane signing off...

happy single awareness day!

so since it's valentines day today, or among me and my sister- "happy single's awareness day", lol i decided to have a template on my blog that is valentiney...lol if that's even a word!! lol i'll probably keep it up for the rest of the week cuz i'll be too lazy to change it. and i kind of like it so it'll have to be on my blog for more than one day!! :D lol

but so happy single awareness day to all!! :D lol so hope you all have fun plans for tonight/today. me and my sis are gonna go see the new movie Step Up 2: The Streets lol i'm so excited cuz i love dance movies. my friend didn't really want to come with when we invited him cuz he complained it was just another dance movie with no plot...lol it might be but it's got some wicked dance moves and wicked dancing music!! :D lol that's what i really want to go see the movies for ! lol

but yeah life is good. okay with being single.

oh and so there is snow here. it snowed yesterday afternoon into last night...lol it was supposed to be a small storm, snow wouldn't stick for long. well on part of the state got about 2 feet at least...lol that's a good amount for a storm that was supposed to be small. lol but then here in the valley, we got about 6 in. in some places. lol but anyhoo, so i was on my morning break and i was walking outside and my friend was out there too. he's a guy i dated for a while. but then we were just talking and saying that me and my sis. were gonna go to a movie. and he said, what no valentine? lol i told him no, both of us are single...and okay with that. lol but so then we were just talking some more, and then he threw a snowball at me. so i decided to retaliate. lol i was about 4 ft away and missed!! lol it was terrible so i grabbed more snow and threw again and hit this time. lol but we just had a lazy snoball fight...lol it was fun. then i had to head back and i said, not that this hasn't been fun but i gotta get back. then i headed through the fertilizer room and back to the main warehouse. and next thing i know there is a snowball hitting the ground. lol i turned around and then there was another one. lol it didn't break up when it hit the ground so i took it and threw it at him. i would have hit him if he hadn't ducked...lol but then i hurried forward and got some snow and then as he came around the corner with a snowball, i was prepared. lol we threw at each other, i hit him, he barely got my shoulder when i tried to dodge it. lol but it was fun@! i love that i'm able to joke and such with him again. but yeah today is going good.

so i need to call the DMV for my driving record cuz of a ticket i got about 6 months ago.. and i have to make a call to civil courts. the second call is for...let's just say...detective work for me. lol it should be interesting. anyhoo...g2g get back to work...

averagejane signing off...

too much time on my hands...

sometimes having too much time on your hands can be a bad thing...lol you just think too much. like my thoughts just have gone all over this past week. i've just been thinking a lot about the past month or two and where things have gone...
but yeah...life has been weird especially the past few days. you hear about crazy exs but i never thought that would ever apply to me...and i guess i pretty much should have expected it from this last relationship, but i was under the impression that the ex was okay with the split that it had been a mutual split, for the better...well, guess not so mutual.

two days ago, he warned me that i might get calls from his ex...told me not to answer my phone if the call came from his number or another one starting with certain digits...he said that this is all just in case somthing might happen. he told me it was not necessarily gonna happen...yet not more than 10 min after he left i start getting calls, first from his number than a few others i didn't recognize, so i didn't answer...i think i got a total of only 3 or 4 calls within 2 hrs time...that may not seem like a lot...but it was a bit scary to me. then i get a voicemail twice in that time from him tellin me to try and erase my name off my voicemail so that his ex doesn't get my name...but then i got a voicemail at about 7 pm that i didn't listen to until like 20 min. later...it said pretty much that there are places online you can pay and get someone's address and phone number if you know their full name and such...and his ex paid the amount and he said that she told him that she was on her way to my house. so i hurried home and then found she hadn't come...and didn't come thank god...

but yeah...loads of fun...

anyhoo, so i get to act in a friends film for his class...i'm excited...lol i get to be the main girl character...i'm deaf! :D lol i think he picked me for that part cuz i'm one of his only friends who knows some sign, partly cuz of my sister and the fact that i'm taking sign language this semester...lol

but that's all for now! later ppl....

averagejane signing off...