wow! so yeah life is going great to be honest! i miss him every day...which in itself is funny cuz i see him 5 days a week still. but i'm learning to cope and be okay and get where i'm going in this life. i have this new fav. quote. it comes from the movie, "p.s. i love you." it's something along the lines of "getting through this life we have...realizing that none of us get out alive." it just made me realize, when i heard it, even more than i already realized it, we don't get out of this life alive. we all are eventually gonna die. i mean, wow, it really just hit me when the character, holly, said it at the end of the movie. lilke it was just so blunt and yet so beautifully said. i'll have to see the movie again and write down the line exactly so you all can get what i mean! but yeah...
add: oh so i totally found the quote i mentioned above, online!!! how lucky is that! lol but here it is...feel free to comment on it. cuz it made me really think!
"This is my one and only life, and it is a great and terrible and short and endless thing, and none of us come out of it alive." (said by Holly, the character played by Hilary Swank.)
so tonight i'm gonna go see a movie called 27 dresses with my sister. i've been waiting for at least a month for it to come out and i can't wait to see it!! :D lol for those of you who don't know the story line, here's a short summary of it. there is this girl, who has been a bridesmaid 27 times, for jsut all of her friends and such. she is in love with a guy she works with ( the guy may be her boss, but i'm not sure! ). one night she is at a club, with her friend and the guy she is in love with is there too...not sure why or if it's just coincedence. but her friend tells her she has to go and tell him how she feels. but who should come up just as she does to this guy? her sister. and the girl introduces them both, they fall in love and then over like the next few weeks get engaged. so the girl's name is jane, btw...but jane plans her sisters wedding. but a little twist to this story even more, is that at the last wedding/reception jane was at, she met this oober cute guy played by james marsden. anyhoo, so in this all , the two of them become friends and he helps her realize that maybe it's time for her to find her happy ending!! this results in a good quote in the movie that goes as follows, (said by actor James Marsden) "you'd rather focus on other people's kodak moments, rather than make memories of your own." so it's really motivating to me to get out and live my life and make my own "kodak moments." lol but life is really just good. like a few times today i had thoughts that threatened to really dampen my mood. like thoughts of him, and wondering if he's okay. but i told myself it didn't help any to get all down on myself or anything. i can just reasonably worry that he's okay, without it really pulling me down. and i've done well today at keepin my mood up!! it does help that i have a flirt buddy...lol his name is ron. and he's cute! anyhoo...but also, i've been doing a little stretching of my legs on my breaks. it's really cool!! and easy to do.
lol so that's my life. been busy with school and work and just life in general but all is just fantastic!! ;) average jane signing off!
ps. i think it helps that i have my hair in pigtails. cuz they are such a fun hairdo to have and they make you feel like a little kid sometimes! :D
Showing posts with label pigtail braids. Show all posts
Showing posts with label pigtail braids. Show all posts
Friday, January 18, 2008
Thursday, May 3, 2007
isn't doing the right thing supposed to feel good?
today started okay. a seminary talent show that had one good act, the skafisciando (i think that's how it's spelled) band. they were pretty good. but then i went to choir class and i got a candy bar...really yummy and just made the day still good. and we got to sing an awsome song in choir. it's called "seize the day" from the musical newsies! i love it a lot. but anyhoo..then at lunch was when the day just progressed to worse. so i was sitting at the lunch table, and a sort of friend of my sister's sat next to us. i have to say i most of the time can't stand the girl. but, after she left i made a couple of comments about not really liking her. next to me sat a sort of friend of mine, tiffany. ugh.
(but as background knowledge, about a few weeks or a month ago, i was in a really bad mood. and i had been a bit rude to some ppl. it had been going on for a little while. and really flared up one day at lunch and then when i went to get my lunch, my sister told me that tiffany had said, "i am so sick of her attitude." and a couple of the other girls agreed. it was stupid.)
so back to the story...tiffany then turned to us and said, "okay well, let's not say anything else mean behind her back. i know i don't like it when ppl do it.." and i was like whatever. then i stood up to leave and said,"you're one to talk about not talking behind people's back! " then i left....i couldn't take that anymore.
then i walked with a friend to my locker....and she made me laugh. we totally just lightened up. but then we went to our first travel and tourism class. so we had taken a test two times before. and last time we had been lectured by mr. allred. a boy in our class (let's call him JE) had been bragging that he stole the key to the test and copied it to ace the test. and he really had. so today. some ppl still had to take the test. and our teacher grades on a curve. so if JE got 100, then we all would be screwed, cuz smith's tests are hard. and he hadn't come to class yet, so i went up to smith and told him in private that JE had been bragging he'd cheated on the test. and smith told me he already knew that, but thanked me for coming forward. so then i sat down and worked. JEcame in and smith took him out and talked to him, telling him he needed to retake the test. JE refused to saying he had already taken it. smith told him, oops i lost it. JE complained saying he'd take it to the front office and principal. so smith said go ahead. JE left and then didn't come back for a while. then he came back and said smith can i have the ch. 5 questions. and smith said you need to take your test first. JE said to just give him a 0 and leave it at that. but smith said no let's go talk to the administration. so JE said whatever... then turned to me(i sit on the front row) and said i have something for you, and then flipped me off and said fuck you. i said eff you back. i don't care. then he left with smith.... and then the class started talking about it all. and they all knew by then that i had said something. they joked about what JE said. and then i explained that i had only told smith that i had heard him bragging about cheating on this past test. they got mad at me saying it wasn't this test he had cheated on and that no one believed JE and how terrible it was. i felt like they were laying into me and i couldnt take it anymore so i just took the hallpass and left class. i walked around for about 10 min, then went back to class. i walk in and smith pulls me out again. he thanked me for coming forward and apologized for what jeramy said... i told him it doesn't matter, i don't care. but it did matter. i did what was right. and yet i got shit for it. like if it had been a few answers on the test, whatever, that's their business. but when you cheat on the whole test with the guaranteed answers, then it involves me and screws me over. it's not right. and smith told me that JE did admit to cheating on the test. but still said i deserved to be flipped off. so now i know he'll resent me for quite some time, possibly the rest of my life. but i had to say something. last time something like this happened, the other kids in the class tried to turn around the situation by saying what if your best friend did this? would you still rat them out? i told them i absolutely would, but, i don't make it my business to be friends with terrible cheaters like that. so in this situation, JE was a friend. not a best friend or anything but i liked him. he was funny. but i couldn't let him screw the rest of us over. it sucked and then the rest of the class still believed he hadn't cheated......it annoyed me cuz i know they were talking about me behind my back. and i hate that. i will go to someone's face and tell them if i have a real problem with them. anyhoo.... that's my ranting
so now with this mood, my song right now is "heavily broken" by the veronicas.... some of the lyrics are:
"everyday i sit here waiting/ everyday just seems so long/ now i've had enough of all the hating/ to even care it's so unfair......it never ends/ im heavily broken/ and i dont' know what to do/can't you see that i'm chokin, and i can't even move/ when there's nothing left to say, what can you do/ i'm heavily broken and there's nothing i can do/ almost giving on trying..... feels like i'm drowning/i'm screaming for air.../ and you don't even care.."
cuz i'm just sick and tired of the drama of high school. i don't want to be here and dealing with it. graduation almost can't come fast enough. it is kind of a comfort to know that after it, i won't have to see some ppl anymore. i can't stand it. i hate school. i have almost no motivation to finish, except the fact that it's only a month left. and i was trying to get my grades up to stay in national honor society and graduate with the cords, but it's just too much and i dont think i can pull back up this late in the game. i'll try to bring things up, but i don't know if i can....it's just too much right now. too much stress.
but there was one bright spot in my day. i got an email from a really good friend, and it really made my day. to just hear from him and get an email was awsome. it may not have been an entirely happy email, but just to be talking to him sometimes makes my day. he has a way of making me laugh. i know that my day is just better to say hi to him in the hallway at school. been my best friend for a while. thank god for friends. but anyhoo.... so my day has kind of just leveled out into a blah now.....and it's probably just gonna stay at that. but it's better than a day from hell. i was even in a good mood this morning cuz i meditated for a bit and it really centered me. and i had an oober cute hairdo. i had pigtail braids! i was in a funsy mood this morning. so that kind of shows how much the run ins with tiff and JE really hurt me and threw me off. but i'm okay for now...
average jane signing off. (friends are quiet angels who pick you up when your wings have trouble remembering how to fly....)
(but as background knowledge, about a few weeks or a month ago, i was in a really bad mood. and i had been a bit rude to some ppl. it had been going on for a little while. and really flared up one day at lunch and then when i went to get my lunch, my sister told me that tiffany had said, "i am so sick of her attitude." and a couple of the other girls agreed. it was stupid.)
so back to the story...tiffany then turned to us and said, "okay well, let's not say anything else mean behind her back. i know i don't like it when ppl do it.." and i was like whatever. then i stood up to leave and said,"you're one to talk about not talking behind people's back! " then i left....i couldn't take that anymore.
then i walked with a friend to my locker....and she made me laugh. we totally just lightened up. but then we went to our first travel and tourism class. so we had taken a test two times before. and last time we had been lectured by mr. allred. a boy in our class (let's call him JE) had been bragging that he stole the key to the test and copied it to ace the test. and he really had. so today. some ppl still had to take the test. and our teacher grades on a curve. so if JE got 100, then we all would be screwed, cuz smith's tests are hard. and he hadn't come to class yet, so i went up to smith and told him in private that JE had been bragging he'd cheated on the test. and smith told me he already knew that, but thanked me for coming forward. so then i sat down and worked. JEcame in and smith took him out and talked to him, telling him he needed to retake the test. JE refused to saying he had already taken it. smith told him, oops i lost it. JE complained saying he'd take it to the front office and principal. so smith said go ahead. JE left and then didn't come back for a while. then he came back and said smith can i have the ch. 5 questions. and smith said you need to take your test first. JE said to just give him a 0 and leave it at that. but smith said no let's go talk to the administration. so JE said whatever... then turned to me(i sit on the front row) and said i have something for you, and then flipped me off and said fuck you. i said eff you back. i don't care. then he left with smith.... and then the class started talking about it all. and they all knew by then that i had said something. they joked about what JE said. and then i explained that i had only told smith that i had heard him bragging about cheating on this past test. they got mad at me saying it wasn't this test he had cheated on and that no one believed JE and how terrible it was. i felt like they were laying into me and i couldnt take it anymore so i just took the hallpass and left class. i walked around for about 10 min, then went back to class. i walk in and smith pulls me out again. he thanked me for coming forward and apologized for what jeramy said... i told him it doesn't matter, i don't care. but it did matter. i did what was right. and yet i got shit for it. like if it had been a few answers on the test, whatever, that's their business. but when you cheat on the whole test with the guaranteed answers, then it involves me and screws me over. it's not right. and smith told me that JE did admit to cheating on the test. but still said i deserved to be flipped off. so now i know he'll resent me for quite some time, possibly the rest of my life. but i had to say something. last time something like this happened, the other kids in the class tried to turn around the situation by saying what if your best friend did this? would you still rat them out? i told them i absolutely would, but, i don't make it my business to be friends with terrible cheaters like that. so in this situation, JE was a friend. not a best friend or anything but i liked him. he was funny. but i couldn't let him screw the rest of us over. it sucked and then the rest of the class still believed he hadn't cheated......it annoyed me cuz i know they were talking about me behind my back. and i hate that. i will go to someone's face and tell them if i have a real problem with them. anyhoo.... that's my ranting
so now with this mood, my song right now is "heavily broken" by the veronicas.... some of the lyrics are:
"everyday i sit here waiting/ everyday just seems so long/ now i've had enough of all the hating/ to even care it's so unfair......it never ends/ im heavily broken/ and i dont' know what to do/can't you see that i'm chokin, and i can't even move/ when there's nothing left to say, what can you do/ i'm heavily broken and there's nothing i can do/ almost giving on trying..... feels like i'm drowning/i'm screaming for air.../ and you don't even care.."
cuz i'm just sick and tired of the drama of high school. i don't want to be here and dealing with it. graduation almost can't come fast enough. it is kind of a comfort to know that after it, i won't have to see some ppl anymore. i can't stand it. i hate school. i have almost no motivation to finish, except the fact that it's only a month left. and i was trying to get my grades up to stay in national honor society and graduate with the cords, but it's just too much and i dont think i can pull back up this late in the game. i'll try to bring things up, but i don't know if i can....it's just too much right now. too much stress.
but there was one bright spot in my day. i got an email from a really good friend, and it really made my day. to just hear from him and get an email was awsome. it may not have been an entirely happy email, but just to be talking to him sometimes makes my day. he has a way of making me laugh. i know that my day is just better to say hi to him in the hallway at school. been my best friend for a while. thank god for friends. but anyhoo.... so my day has kind of just leveled out into a blah now.....and it's probably just gonna stay at that. but it's better than a day from hell. i was even in a good mood this morning cuz i meditated for a bit and it really centered me. and i had an oober cute hairdo. i had pigtail braids! i was in a funsy mood this morning. so that kind of shows how much the run ins with tiff and JE really hurt me and threw me off. but i'm okay for now...
average jane signing off. (friends are quiet angels who pick you up when your wings have trouble remembering how to fly....)
Labels:
best friends,
cheating,
meditation,
pigtail braids,
stress
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