i love him

so yeah here i am again...life is...hmm... life is just....life. it's okay, not bad, but not fantastic. just here. just existing. but yeah...is it normal to think of just one guy...so much that when you pass other guys on the street, cute ones, that you don't really thing of anyone but that one guy. seriously. i think of him all the time, love to be around him.

........................................................................................................................................


well, so this is like half a day later. so that special someone came to work a bit late cuz he went to some performance thing of his daughter's. but he walked in, and my knees just about gave out...he looked so....amazing. he normally i think is very hot. but he just was all spiffed up in a nice shirt, jeans, nice shoes, a cool leather jacket, and his hair had been cut. wow! is the only way i could describe my reaction. then he came over to my desk to say hi. and of course he had to smell incredible! lol... just wow. then even when he got on his work shirt and such, he still looked amazing. maybe i'm just biased cuz i love him. lol :D but i dont' care. he's just so incredible. i can't believe that he loves me. i can't believe how lucky i am....lol

well, i gotta go actually get some work done...

average jane signing off...

and then there was one..

have you ever seen the movie, "the prince and me?" well, right now i'm feeling like julia stiles and the character she plays in it. she has two friends. and in the beginning of the movie, she is the bridesmaid for one of them. she's sitting at the wedding reception with the second friend. and she says, "and then there were two...they seem really happy, i just remember how much we used to talk about getting out there and following our dreams. i mean there's a whole world out there to see. you too, we're the last hold outs." then the second friend looks all guilty and holds up her hand showing her ring and says,"todd and i are engaged." well, that is so true in my life. cuz i remember how me and my friend used to talk about all the things we had to do: share an apartment together, go make the guards at the buckingham palace laugh, travel abroad. a whole bunch of things. we had plans. now, she's engaged. a part of me is happy that she's happy. but a part of me is sad and hurt cuz we had plans that have just fallen apart. but i guess this just means it's my time to be on my own. follow my dreams. cuz honestly, a guy doesn't fit in my plans right now. or anyone else for that matter, well beyond friendship. i have so many things i want to do. i need to see the world. in two years i am planning to study abroad. maybe in someplace like england or italy. it would seriously be amzing. so yeah. i don't why i'm saying all this. but i am, and who knows? maybe my story will end like julia stiles. maybe i'll meet my prince who won't hold me back from my dreams. but yeah. we'll see how life goes...

averagejane signing off....