not ready to grow up...

i've been thinking a lot about what Rose at work told me about maybe moving up into a new position. and she had said that i could either do a part time position with another lady or maybe do a full-time position. and i don't think i'm entirely ready to do a full time position. especially this summer. i still want time to hang with my friends. i just barely got out of high school. or will officially tomorrow. i want this summer to be one last fling before i continue on into the real world. i'm not really ready to grow up yet. as silly as that sounds... lol. but yeah. and i want time to see darion. cuz i can't stop thinking about him. and i want to hang with my little friends. i promised them i would. and in the fall, i am gonna tutor my friends so i need time to do that and go to school. so yeah

averagejane signing off....

babbling about boys and nothing in particular....

so not much really to write... but still having issues with my friend to be married. i thought that maybe i could resolve them and i thought that when we hung out a week ago, that it would be better. but if anything, it made me realize that things really won't ever be the same. i am not even sure i can handle being more than just sort of friends. cuz i know that we won't ever be best friends again. it's just not possible. too much has happened between us and we've both grown apart in the past few months... but i guess that's how life is. it's going to be okay... i really don't know why i don't feel more broken up about this. maybe cuz i saw it coming. and that in the end, i really am just a loner. someone who likes to be on my own without ppl to mess things up.

but i think i'm gonna move up in my job at steve regan company. the lady who does the hiring talked to me today, and kind of alluded to that. but we'll see next week she said.

graduation is this friday and i finally sent out invitations yesterday. i know, i procrastinate a lot. but those who are already coming didn't really need to get one, but it's more of a formality... so yeah. but i sent some to friends that will either be graduating with me or won't be coming anyways, but just wanted to send a friendly invitation to say that i consider them a friend...but yeah. well, now i'm jsut babbling.

but, so i'm watching harry potter 3 for the thirty millionth time. no surprise, cuz i love that movie. but hmm.... i just think harry potter is really hot...lol his real name is daniel radcliffe. but i also find orlando bloom really gorgeous too.

so i've been thinking about darion a lot lately. in fact i dreamt about him too. and the thing is i haven't seen him at all since sunday. which is odd, but at the same time not cuzit's the end of school and i'm not at school much. but i wonder why i keep thinking about him. i don't know. it's not like he's made any move to show that he wants anything other than friendship. and like my friend said, "i don't chase boys, boys chase me." i want to think that...but here i am pining over a guy who it appears doesn't want to be more than friends...cuz he isn't making any move. so i guess...yup my life is just normal and kind of sucks in the romance department. surprise, not....