job news!

well, guess what? i got a job. it's at a craft/sewing store called joann's. i think they might only have those stores in my home state. i dunno! but, i had an interview today and i got the job! but, i am still holding out for a job at seagull book and tape, and i have an interview on monday for that. so we'll see how that all works out. but, whatever, i totally have a job no matter what. and i'm way stoked. but, hey i gotta go!

average jane signing off! (though it rains heavily here, i love it! )

guys or girls? (no i'm not lesbian :-P)

so yeah just got back from a deca officer dinner. it was fun cuz i met some new ppl. since i don't really know them all too well, i'm not too concerned with anonymity. i met kurt, who wants to be a dental assistant and skyler who was jsut a funny guy. and i just had a blast mingling with them. they go to different schools, but, i found it was easy to talk to kurt.

and i'm becoming better friends with this guy off my friend's forums. i'll call him merlin. but, he is a great guy. i find it really easy to talk to him. too bad he lives across the country from me and my friends.

but, how is it that most often, it's easier for me to talk to guys? honestly. i have lots of gal friends, but, the ones i hang with most are guys. and the ones i feel most comfortable around are guys. i have a lot of guy friends. and it amazes me. cuz i wouldn't consider myself popular. far from it. but, i realized just two days ago, when my friend that is a sophmore this year was walking wiht me down the halls of school and i had so many ppl i said hi to. and of course, lots of them are guys. and am i the only girl who feels it's easier to talk to guys sometimes? if so, sux for everyone else. but, i was actually talking to a friend and he said he finds it easier to talk to girls. and it got me thinking, maybe it's just an opposite gender thing. i guess that with me it's just cuz there's really no drama with guys. they say it how it is and you can just be whatever. it's not like you're having to fit in like it so often is with girls.

i dunno. just my ramblings. but, i really am grateful for all my guy friends. both old and new. you guys are beyond amzing and cool!

average jane signin off! (guys are just better as friends! no offense to all my girls!)

losing myself?

yeah so i know that i said that i wanted to give religion a try. but, you know what. i can't do it. i really tried. but, there's just something in me that can't do it. i like the way my life is and i don't want to change it. i know that i'm happy with my life and i really don't like change. i know that people have always said that religion brings happiness into your life. but, i don't know. i didn't even feel like it was improving my life. i felt as if i was trying so hard to be something i wasn't . like i was trying so hard to be someone other than myself. it wasn't me. i know it sounds extreme and everything. but, i felt as if i was losing a part of me. the person i had created; that i had found. and i know it probably makes no sense to all my friends. but, it's sometimes how life goes.
and for the most random unexplainable reason, i came to tears last night. i don't know why i did. i was talking to my sister and everything jsut overwhelmed me. i was mad once again about tour, and life jsut for no reason sucked. and i began to get tears in my eyes so i told my sister that iwas about to cry so i was gonna go to my room. and then i got my journal out and sat on my bed. i put the rascal flatts CD, me and my gang, in my discman.i listened to the song entitled what hurts the most. and i just cried. now i don't let myself cry normally. cuz i hate it, cuz it means i have a weakness. but, i'm admitting it now. i cried for myself, i cried for how i had to hurt a friend. and it really helped. but, last night i just felt so alone and so sad. but, yeah life goes on i guess. it's just that there's times when i wonder. about everything. but, i'm okay.

average jane signing off. (hey, life is okay.)

Shooting in an Amish Town

hey i just got back from my interview and it went okay. but i went into my mom's room and the saddest story was on the news. some crazy gunman went wild in an amish town. it was so sad to hear about it. apparently it was in nickel mines, pennsylvannia. according to the story the guy came into the amish town and took six girls hostage in the school and shot them all execution style. two of the girls died instantly and one died later at the hospital, while three remain in critical condition. the man was the local milkman and he called his wife just before he shot the girls to tell her that he was acting out to get revenge for something that happened 20 years ago.
for more info, check this link out: http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2006/10/02/national/main2055177.shtml

it really saddens me to see what our world has become. this is the 3rd school shooting or such that has taken place in the past 3 weeks. how do people become so corrupt and so lost that they think this is right? like in the bailey, colorado shooting. the man held 6 girls hostage. he sexually assaulted them before he ended up killing one and himself. honestly, i cannot even fathom what could have gone so completely wrong in people's lives to make them act in such a way. i jsut have to say my prayers and condolences are with all those hurt or affected by any of thes shootings. the amish are a peaceful people. the girls all hurt were just young teenage girls. they were innocent girls and did not deserve this. my condolences once again.

average jane signing off.

job interview!

hey guess what? i have a job interview in about a 1/2 hour. and i think i might actually get the job. and i really need it. i have like two trips to pay for this april and i need the money. so i hope it all goes well. and i'll keep you all posted. but i gotta go and get ready so i make a good impression and actually get there early. so later.

average jane signing off! (smile cuz life is good!)