Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Dreams

when it comes to dreams, there are two basic beliefs about why we have dreams and what they mean.

belief 1: dreams mean nothing, it is jsut random. it is just an epiphenomenon that is the mental activity that occurs during REM sleep.

belief 2: dreams have a meaning. we dream because either we need to declutter our minds, our subconcious is trying to speak to us, or we have problems from our daily lives that our mind couldn't work through while concious, so we have dreams to work them out. This is just putting this belief in simple terms.

myself, i have always followed with belief two. i believed that our minds are trying to tell us something or we have something that our mind needed to work out when it was concentrating on the other dozen items we do during the day. it made sense to me to believe this way. from having dreams so simple where i couldn't find a bathroom in my dream and waking up to find i needed to use the bathroom, to slightly more complex dreams of being naked for some reason while i was in public in school or the mall or someplace - which i interpreted that i was trying so hard to be someone else to fit in, i was afraid to show who i really was, afraid to be me with no mask on (signifying the nakedness)- i really believed that my dreams told me something. i found that in some dreams i could even wake myself up, especially in some scary ones..

another set of dreams i liked were the ones where i would meet a handsome stranger, and a romantic tale would ensue. whether in modern times, or in medieval times where i was a princess. this all was just my true desires in life. i wanted to be in a fairytale, i wanted to be in the stories that i read. i wanted adventure, something more to my life. and i found my escape in books, and my escape came real in my dreams.

however, sometimes, i find i would rather believe in belief #1 when it comes to some dreams. i find that the meaning i find from some dreams, i would rather believe were jsut random, not something that my mind needed to work out, or some secret desire i have hidden until my subconcious brings it into my dreams. i don't want to believe that such things lie within me. can they? or are these just really random dreams? with no significance. i would like to believe this, but i can't... so i just write them down, and push them from my mind, hoping that these dreams are not revealing a side of me i'd rather not know about.

anyhoo....dreams are interesting things..

average jane signing off...

Monday, June 29, 2009

i'm trying :)

so hey.... i know i promised to blog more so here i am to write a little before i head off to class :) lol

so the past week suprisingly has gone by fast.... lol but pretty much all that i do now is go to class in the mornings and work at night.... lol can't wait til i don't have to work this job... lol it's an alright job when i have some project to do, or customers to help... but otherwise its boring..

but i've been working on studying for a test i need to take. so far it looks like i need lots more studying lol.... i do that on my free time at work... lol my work practically pays me to educate myself. it's awesome :) lol that's one good thing about having nothing to do. but then i sometimes have to watch out for the head guys at work, cuz they don't like us doing it. but my main supervisor doesn't seem to mind.

so.... taylorsville dayzz celebration was this weekend :) lol it was fun :) i got to watch a parade and run out in the street to get candy they threw out from the floats and cars :) lol jay thought i looked like a little kid doing so lol... but i had fun
then there was fireworks that night... saturday that is. i love watching fireworks. it was weird to think that just a year ago, me and jay were still dating and i had invited him to come to the fireworks with me :) wow.... it's so crazy :) lol

anyhoo, better pack up for class!!! i'll write more later this week :)