a great start to a new year...and decisions made

so just yesterday i hung out with some friends for the second time in a week. and i absolutely loved it! we played rock band and wii. its so much fun! i finally was gettin the hang of playing the drums. it's tough but so worth it. lol and i can also do the guitar and bass too. of course i began singing, then i decided to try the instruments and i love it and really would so buy it to play at home! maybe i will in a few months. but right now...i'm gonna save my money for other things. but we actually first went to cheesecake factory and had lunch. it was expensive but pretty good. i think the funnest part of it all was that i got to hang with friends and be crazy and wild and have a blast! it was the perfect start to a new year...

i now have a new fav. movie. it's called hope floats!! :D i absolutely am in love with the story and of course harry connick jr.! lol but i really just thought a lot about life again...and i think i love him...but i am still so young and if he really loves me, he will support me while i still explore life and see the world and see if this is really what i want. i thought i knew what i wanted, when i told him i wanted to be with him. but i'm not so sure. i just think about all that is out there that i could be missing. maybe there is someone else out there that i'm meant to really be with. and at the same time, i wonder if i just kind of get out there and don't really pursue a relationship with him, would i be missing out on a great relationship? but then i hang with friends and just am a kid once more and i realize that i don't think i'm ready to grow up so fast. and he is, cuz he's been in life...seen a few things... traveled. and while it may hurt him that i need space a bit...i need to do it for my sanity. i will love him forever, no matter what i decide to do. but i still have a life to lead before i settle down. and if he really loves me...then he will understand my decision. i guess what i just need to make him understand, is that though i love him, i need to see the world and do some things first before i just settle down with someone. we are hanging out this weekend. and he mentioned when he called today that he wanted to take a day off from work to spend as just us...maybe spend the night at his place... and while that sounds nice...i don't think that is how things should go right now. i'll spend time with him on the weekends and such. still get to know each other. but i need to make sure that i tell him how i feel.

cuz i just keep thinking about another friend that i might have feelings for.

anyhoo...just my babbles...

averagejane signing off

too sweet

just when i'm doubting what is happening in my life...where i'm going, if this is the right place to be...he goes and does something even sweeter than normal. like i'm home sick and he called me to make sure i was okay when i didn't come to work. and he just called to tell me how much he loved me. it was just too sweet.

anyhoo, just had to say that ....

averagejane signing off...

is he really the one?

one time i was just talking with my sister about guys and just whatever about them...she said something that really stuck with me. she said one thing that stood out to her as when she knew this one guy might be the one...someone special she should get to know better...was that jsut being around him was comfortable. that it felt like she had come home.

just recently i was hanging with a bunch of friends and we were playing video games. i had not played one of them before and my guy friend helped me figure out what i was to do. and he put his hand around mine and showed me what to do. it was brief, but for that brief time, it was just as if it felt comfortable and made me feel something. i don't really know how to describe it. but it made me wonder, am i right to be with this other guy, when i just get this feeling with a good guy friend of mine? am i ready to just give me heart to this other guy, when i'm not sure as to exactly how i feel? and you know...i don't think i am. but yeah i just got to thinking. and maybe this is just a sign that i need to step back and look at my life, where i'm headed, what goals i have and what plans i have to fulfill... but yeah..

averagejane signing off...