me really thinking

something dr. paleo commented made me think. he said he'd rather get married sooner than later. and you know what? i've always said that i'm not gonna get married until i've graduated from college and done my own thing. to show my self that i don't need a guy. that i can do my own thing and not have to settle down with kids. but, recently over this past year, i've found myself thinking maybe settling down and getting married sooner than later wouldn't be so bad. but, i dunno. there's a part of me that still wants to see the world, explore it before i have kids, if i do at all, i dunno. whether or not i'll have kids is a point of confusion for me. but, my friends always tell me that it's better to have someone to travel the world with, someone to share the beauty and the excitement with, which up until now i've disagreed with. now that i have a boyfriend, it makes me think, maybe there is still that part of me that really needs the companionship, or love, of a guy. i dunno. hmm.... confusion. well, average jane signing off.

times to remember

yeah so life is good. just mosying on through life. and you know i think life's gonna be okay. it'll be better in a couple of months, but, for now i'm good. yeah last night i had some friends over, including my boyfriend, and we watched this hilarious old tv show called Hogan's Heroes. yeah it's the funniest thing to watch. the best part was watching my boyfriend. most times he comes off as a serious guy. but, watching him last night, you'd think he was having the time of his life. it was great to hear his laughter, while holding his hand in mine. for last night, life was great. i was with my best friends and my boyfriend and we were cracking up over old tv shows. i wish i could have more nights like that. i cherish every one. average jane signing off.

thoughts of my guy

so it's official. i have a boyfriend. i never thought that i'd have a boyfriend in high school. much less an amzing, cute and sensitive one. i guess i just feel i am the luckiest girl in the world. yeah i find myself not acting like my normal sensible self. like i would never get worked up over a guy. and i also would not spend an hour on the phone talking to a guy. i really hate talking on the phone. most of the time i feel awkward and i can't think of what to talk about. but, with army man, i have so much to talk about with him. and he really opens up and it's so cool. but, also i normally don't get worked up over a guy and whether or not he likes me. but, ever since i found out army man liked me, i've found myself thinking of him out of the blue. and i can't wait to see him at school. it really makes my day to see him. anyhoo, average jane signing off.

random thoughts

i've always been single and this is the first relationship i've been in. and i've been very independent. but, now that i have army man, it's weird. i never thought i'd be the kind of girl to miss her guy when he isn't around. but, here i am turning into that. i've kind of begun to stop being so independent. i've started to let myself want to depend on someone else for once. and it's weird. all today, i was wishing i could talk to army man, wish we could just talk about whatever. he's become really special to me. but, things are okay. and i worry too much. i often think too much about things. it's crazy. but, i'm gonna go. average jane signing off.

seeing the beauty

ya know, today, everything is working out perfectly between me and army man. i feel so bad that i have to hide my relationship wit him from my family, but, in a few months i won't have to anymore. and everything's gonna be okay. i think we're slowly moving past the awkward stage. and i feel so loved and happy. i can't believe i found the perfect guy. i never thought that life could be so perfect. it's like the sun has come out from behind the clouds. well, since i like rain. it's not so bad. but, maybe it's more like the thunder and lightning have given way to let me enjoy the beauty of rain. it's wonderful. and i can't help from grinning foolishly while i walk down the street, because i think of him. *sigh* life is good. average jane signing off.

happy moments

yeah have you ever just sat, either listening to music or just staring off into space, and you find yourself grinning at absolutely nothing? yeah i'm finding myself doing that a lot lately. i'm surprised no one in my family has noticed and said something to me. but, you know, i want to feel this way all the time. cuz, in a way it gives me hope that maybe every thing will be okay. and i'm starting to believe everything will be okay. i'm starting to figure out that if i just go with the flow, everything will happen how it's supposed to. but, at the same time i'm so impatient that i want everything to happen now. one of my downfalls you may say. but, an upside, is that i don't just wait for things to happen to me. i start the chain reaction by making them happen to begin with. and you know i have this favorite quote from a movie. it is "life's too short and too hard to not feel safe with the one you love." i don't know why this suddenly popped in my head. maybe because my brains are frazzled by "looove" j/k no i'm just in a really weird mood. weird but happy. i'm content with my life for the first time in forever, and it's a good feeling. you all should expect more of these happy blogs. for i plan on taking control and not letting stupid things get me down. life's good. average jane signing off.

the awkward beginning

yeah so i've gotten to the point that we've told each other we like each other. but, the question is, what happens next? do we just hang out and go on dates? or do we say we're boyfriend and girlfriend? yeah what happens? i know that the both of us can see us as boyfriend and girlfriend. but, the real thing is how much longer are we gonna be in this awkward part? but, you know. i know that whatever happens, me and army man will be friends. though honestly i hope it does get to the point of bf/gf. cuz army man's a great guy and i really like him. hee hee. but, this is a very happy jane signing off for now!

I'm so happy!!!

yeah i just couldn't wait to post this. but, yeah i'm so happy, beyond happy. army man told me he liked me!!! i couldn't believe it when i read his email. seems he had a bit more courage than me to say it first. i've been mulling over whether or not to tell him. and he told me first! wow! i'm like floating high on cloud nine, and my day can't get any better and nothing can go wrong now! *sigh* life is good. average jane floats on cloud nine, now signing off!

thoughts

yeah so my thoughts for today. hmmm... i really dislike holidays for the one fact that it's just an excuse to hang out with family. yeah and i really don't like my family. i want to hang out with friends. and holidays are only good to get off school but i haven't been in school long enough to hate it yet. and i see my friends at school. like : slypig, army man, fav. freak, liz biz. dr. paleo, if he went to my school. i dunno.but, yeah. i want to see my friends. holidays suck at the start of a school year! average jane signing off.