well, so i have to admit that the first part of work today was hell to get through. and last night i couldn't sleep and couldn't figure out what to do. but i think i have figured out some portion of it.
almost everything i feel is telling me to believe robert. i know him just a tad better and he has always been serious and upfront with me. also, chris all but admitted his guilt when he didn't show up to work today. and the other thing is that his closest friend casey is also upset with him that he stooped that low as to tell lies to get a girl. like robert said, a girl isn't worth a friendship. or in my case, if i were in his situation, a guy isn't worth a friendship. i learned that the hard way. but yeah. and i told robert that everything is telling me to believe him and for that reason i will give chris a chance. but i asked two things of robert. i told him i would like to meet his sister. and he agreed. then i asked that he call me tonight. i gave him my cell phone number. and he said he'd call. he even had it memorized before he left work today. it was kind of flattering. but he said he'd call tonight. and i hope he doesn't disappoint. especially now that i'm really gonna trust him.
but i think things will be okay. hmm...but i'm waiting for him to call and i got two texts simultaneously and it totally set my heart racing. it was funny! :D but i better post this!
averagejane signing off... (things will be okay. he still likes me!)
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
don't know who to believe anymore....
i don't know who or what to believe anymore. honestly, cuz i confronted robert today about what chris had told me. of course not saying that i had heard it from chris. (i started typing robert instead of chris....god i have robert on my mind... i'm helpless) but he told me straight to my face that he doesn't have a girlfriend or fiance. that emily really is his sister. and he told me he'd bring her in and introduce her to me as his sister and such. and i was gonna tell him i wanted him to do that. but i forgot. but we talked and he answered all my questions and admitted guilt to some things. like he admitted telling chris the day after he had asked me out to go ask me out. cuz by then he had realized how much chris really liked me. and he admitted that he was with chris on friday. cuz he was supposed to stand me up and that's supposedly why we got cut off on the phone cuz chris came up. and when i confronted robert about how chris had said robert had a little girl, robert said that was true. he does have a little girl, presumably from a previous marriage. but then he told me once again that he was and still is very much interested in me. but he's letting chris have a chance and see if things work out between me and chris. but he says he doesn't think they will work out, but the reason he called me friday night is because he got to thinking that if things didn't work out between me and chris, and then me and him, robert, started goin out and got serious... well, he didn't want me to completely hate him. i mean how could he be the one in the wrong. but maybe i am partially biased in robert's case. i don't know. but i'm goin out with chris this weekend. though i don't know what to do with him. cuz he came up to me and apologized for jerking me around. but i don't know if that means he was partially lying to me or if it means that he just is sorry that i'm gettin so jerked around...i dont' know. but i have to admit that i need to figure this all out soon or else i will seriously go crazy...
average jane signing off....
average jane signing off....
Monday, June 25, 2007
confused and hurt
so, things are not as they seemed to be, i think. cuz i got some new information, that very much makes sense. more than robert did, though i still am being cautious with everything. so here it is.
robert was supposed to call me on saturday, and didn't. so today i saw him and he said that he was so sorry that he didn't call and that he just spaced it. and i was like, 'uh huh...' and i told him i had gotten a cell phone and he asked if he could have it. and i was gonna give it to him. but he never came to get it from me. so i was waiting for chris to aske me out, cuz robert said he would today. so then closing time came and chris came up to me and we talked. he came up and told me that robert was just a big liar. and chris said he'd been just staying on the sidelines of this, but felt that he couldn't just watch me get into this deeper and get hurt. so he explained that the girl that robert kept saying was his sister is actually his girlfriend. actually his fiance. and that they are to be married in two weeks. that robert doesnt' even have a sister. also, it turns out that friday night, robert really was standing me up. turns out his girlfriend got off work early, and he and chris and she went bowling that night. and that he must have been calling me from there, cuz he called from a pay phone. and all that story about chris and him getting in a fight and chris wanting him to stand me up, seems to be a lie. i still don't know that all this is true for sure. but i want to know what is true. because parts of chris' story really make sense. like why robert said no to doing anything else on friday. cuz he was with his girlfriend. and just other little tidbits making sense. but i guess i just want to believe so hard that one person is really a great guy, cuz i want to meet a great guy that really, truly is interested in me that maybe i'm trying too hard to make them right. also , it seems that robert was married before and has a little girl. and that he had a girlfriend while he was married and a mistress. that part i don't really have a way to know for sure it's true. but it doesn't matter all too much to me now. i just want to know if robert does have a girlfriend/fiance. i think i'll shock him into tripping up and admitting something. like just say, 'so how's your girlfriend?' but yeah.
so me and chris talked for quite some time after work. i left work around 5:40ish. cuz me and chris were just talking and talking and it really was nice. but i ended up giving him a ride a little ways and dropping him off at a bus stop near my house and he caught a bus to his house. but on the drive to the bus stop we talked about a lot of things. also, as i stopped to let him out, he asked me, 'so are you doing anything friday?' and i said,'umm...no.' he then said, ' so we should do something then.' and i said 'definitely.' so he said,' i'll see you at work tomorrow.' and i said yeah. then i drove off as he walked to the bus stop and i waved goodbye and he waved bye also. but i think this might work out. but i'm gonna just be cautious still.
so yeah that's the new drama. i have to admit i so want to just go up to him and yell at him. and punch him really hard. cuz i also can't believe i was so stupid to believe him. but now i will get down to the bottom of all this.
anyhoo, tha's it. so i'll be okay. i'm working it all through...
averagejane signing off
robert was supposed to call me on saturday, and didn't. so today i saw him and he said that he was so sorry that he didn't call and that he just spaced it. and i was like, 'uh huh...' and i told him i had gotten a cell phone and he asked if he could have it. and i was gonna give it to him. but he never came to get it from me. so i was waiting for chris to aske me out, cuz robert said he would today. so then closing time came and chris came up to me and we talked. he came up and told me that robert was just a big liar. and chris said he'd been just staying on the sidelines of this, but felt that he couldn't just watch me get into this deeper and get hurt. so he explained that the girl that robert kept saying was his sister is actually his girlfriend. actually his fiance. and that they are to be married in two weeks. that robert doesnt' even have a sister. also, it turns out that friday night, robert really was standing me up. turns out his girlfriend got off work early, and he and chris and she went bowling that night. and that he must have been calling me from there, cuz he called from a pay phone. and all that story about chris and him getting in a fight and chris wanting him to stand me up, seems to be a lie. i still don't know that all this is true for sure. but i want to know what is true. because parts of chris' story really make sense. like why robert said no to doing anything else on friday. cuz he was with his girlfriend. and just other little tidbits making sense. but i guess i just want to believe so hard that one person is really a great guy, cuz i want to meet a great guy that really, truly is interested in me that maybe i'm trying too hard to make them right. also , it seems that robert was married before and has a little girl. and that he had a girlfriend while he was married and a mistress. that part i don't really have a way to know for sure it's true. but it doesn't matter all too much to me now. i just want to know if robert does have a girlfriend/fiance. i think i'll shock him into tripping up and admitting something. like just say, 'so how's your girlfriend?' but yeah.
so me and chris talked for quite some time after work. i left work around 5:40ish. cuz me and chris were just talking and talking and it really was nice. but i ended up giving him a ride a little ways and dropping him off at a bus stop near my house and he caught a bus to his house. but on the drive to the bus stop we talked about a lot of things. also, as i stopped to let him out, he asked me, 'so are you doing anything friday?' and i said,'umm...no.' he then said, ' so we should do something then.' and i said 'definitely.' so he said,' i'll see you at work tomorrow.' and i said yeah. then i drove off as he walked to the bus stop and i waved goodbye and he waved bye also. but i think this might work out. but i'm gonna just be cautious still.
so yeah that's the new drama. i have to admit i so want to just go up to him and yell at him. and punch him really hard. cuz i also can't believe i was so stupid to believe him. but now i will get down to the bottom of all this.
anyhoo, tha's it. so i'll be okay. i'm working it all through...
averagejane signing off
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