feelings gettin in the way

well, not too much has gone on since i last posted. but i guess it's time to update.

so there is this guy at work that is in the pumps departement. each day i spend my breaks back in the pumps dept. specifically the shop, not the front counter. anyways, so i began taking my breaks back there, kind of following what my friend holly, who's position i took over, used to do. she had crush on this guy back in pumps. she would tell me each day abt him and try to get me to see him and see how cute he was. of course as fate would have it, i never saw who she was talking about while she still worked here. but a few days after she was gone, i finally saw who she had been trying to get me to meet. i have to admit that i had this mental picture of what he'd look like. i had a mental picture of a tough guy, like i don't know how to describe what i thought of him. but then i met him, and he had that bit of tough guy look to him. but inside i found that he's really a softie. he loves cars, has a '57 studebaker i believe that he is trying to fix up. and i am growing to really like him more and more each day. cuz he's just so cute, and really is just a kid at heart. it's adorable, and endearing. and did i mention he's incredibly cute in a boyish kind of way. yeah. so i'm kind of really starting to like him. but i'm not doing anything about it cuz of three main reasons. 1) no more dating at work. way too much drama. 2) i'd hate to ruin a friendship and i have no idea how he feels about me. i love hanging out with him and if he thinks i'm starting to like him as more than a friend, then we might not hang out. cuz he really makes me laugh some times.. finally 3) i'm not dating at the moment. i found that guys and dating just complicate my life. i don't want to have the drama that has been going on in my life with cody and chris. the not knowing if they are actually gonna ask me out, the wondering where we stand, the not wanting to hurt the guy when i don't want to be as serious. yeah so that's why i'm backing off...

also i still very much like another guy at work. even though i shouldn't. because he was a jerk to me and is now married. but i can't help that he can be a decent guy some of the time. there are days when life seems like shit and i can talk to him. and he can tell when something is wrong. it's weird. but he also is asking me a lot if i'm okay. and i ask him also if he's okay. cuz i care. and i know i shouldn't care like this. but i do... anyhoo. that's my babbling for today.

how's school...well, i love school. but i'm gonna lighten my load next semester. and i'm sort of getting sick of my jewelry class. it's fun but i don't think it's quite for me. anyooo.

average jane signing off...