well, so i was hanging out with a good friend of mine at a baby shower for her cousin. and i have to admit, i bet it was hell to have to deal with her family. i really feel bad for all the shit that her family deals out. like her grandma was downright rude and inconsiderate. and of course my friend dished it out right back. i have to admit it was just a bit funny to see it. only a little bit.
but, as we were driving home, (we had an hour drive) we got to talking about a guy that means a lot to me. army guy. and he has the choice of whether he wants to be deployed overseas for 10 to 18 months. and i think there's a good possibility that this deployment could be a lot more dangerous than he has been letting on. and it scares me to be honest. i was just sitting next to my friend. and i began to cry. it really made me think about the fact that he could die. and i cried and she told me not to cry cuz then she was gonna cry. but, i told her. i already have a few friends that are semi-suicidal. i don't need another friend that could possibly die. and i couldn't bear it especially with army guy. honestly. it would kill me. and it really hit me so hard. and for the most of the ride home, thoughts of him kept going through my head. i hope he knows how much he means to me. and he'll probably read this and hopefully he'll understand how special he is. and i just had to write all this down.
oh and this moratorium thing, not working too well, when i still very much care for this guy. hmmmm.....
anyhoo, this is average jane signing off. (a worried, very average jane. )
8 comments:
I worry, too. I have my own peace to say, but I'll wait till we hang out with him.
btw, I need you to call me. I called yesterday, but you weren't home.
Thank you Amy for that. At least I know I'm not the only one who thinks my family sucks. My mom actually agreed to let me come to your family christmas party instead of going to mine. So I hope that sticks as December keeps going.
I posted a huge long post about what happened so if you think I messed up or missed something or just have something to add to my opinions I'd love to hear it.
Thank you SO much for being with me. And I hope that it's not dangerous. And that neither of us will have to cry.
i know nathan. we both have stuff that needs to be said. and it'll have to wait unfortunately. and i'll call you.
and steph. i was glad to be there to help you out. and if you really can come to my party, we'd love to have you. it's at my ward building i think.
and i think you covered most everything that went on at the lovely baby shower. ugh. and i so hope everything will be okay with army guy. i hope. i really need to talk to him. *fingers crossed* *sigh*
I need to talk to him, too. I need to talk to my brother.
I'm sorry Amy, but there isn't much I can do to lift up your spirits, or comfort you. Because I worry about him just as much as you do.
well i'll be talking to him wednesday and so it'll be okay. i hope. i'm really worried still.
I'm here to talk, too, if you just need to vent your feelings or anything. You know how to reach me.
thanx but, i really need to tell most of my feelings to dave. and i've vented some to nathan. thanx though. i should be okay.
That's fine. I just want you to remember that I'm here forever if you need anything, even if you really don't.
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