confused and hurt

so, things are not as they seemed to be, i think. cuz i got some new information, that very much makes sense. more than robert did, though i still am being cautious with everything. so here it is.

robert was supposed to call me on saturday, and didn't. so today i saw him and he said that he was so sorry that he didn't call and that he just spaced it. and i was like, 'uh huh...' and i told him i had gotten a cell phone and he asked if he could have it. and i was gonna give it to him. but he never came to get it from me. so i was waiting for chris to aske me out, cuz robert said he would today. so then closing time came and chris came up to me and we talked. he came up and told me that robert was just a big liar. and chris said he'd been just staying on the sidelines of this, but felt that he couldn't just watch me get into this deeper and get hurt. so he explained that the girl that robert kept saying was his sister is actually his girlfriend. actually his fiance. and that they are to be married in two weeks. that robert doesnt' even have a sister. also, it turns out that friday night, robert really was standing me up. turns out his girlfriend got off work early, and he and chris and she went bowling that night. and that he must have been calling me from there, cuz he called from a pay phone. and all that story about chris and him getting in a fight and chris wanting him to stand me up, seems to be a lie. i still don't know that all this is true for sure. but i want to know what is true. because parts of chris' story really make sense. like why robert said no to doing anything else on friday. cuz he was with his girlfriend. and just other little tidbits making sense. but i guess i just want to believe so hard that one person is really a great guy, cuz i want to meet a great guy that really, truly is interested in me that maybe i'm trying too hard to make them right. also , it seems that robert was married before and has a little girl. and that he had a girlfriend while he was married and a mistress. that part i don't really have a way to know for sure it's true. but it doesn't matter all too much to me now. i just want to know if robert does have a girlfriend/fiance. i think i'll shock him into tripping up and admitting something. like just say, 'so how's your girlfriend?' but yeah.

so me and chris talked for quite some time after work. i left work around 5:40ish. cuz me and chris were just talking and talking and it really was nice. but i ended up giving him a ride a little ways and dropping him off at a bus stop near my house and he caught a bus to his house. but on the drive to the bus stop we talked about a lot of things. also, as i stopped to let him out, he asked me, 'so are you doing anything friday?' and i said,'umm...no.' he then said, ' so we should do something then.' and i said 'definitely.' so he said,' i'll see you at work tomorrow.' and i said yeah. then i drove off as he walked to the bus stop and i waved goodbye and he waved bye also. but i think this might work out. but i'm gonna just be cautious still.

so yeah that's the new drama. i have to admit i so want to just go up to him and yell at him. and punch him really hard. cuz i also can't believe i was so stupid to believe him. but now i will get down to the bottom of all this.

anyhoo, tha's it. so i'll be okay. i'm working it all through...

averagejane signing off