start of school again! :D lol

okay, so i shouldn't be on here bloggin during work time :D but at the moment i think i'm safe from gettin in trouble lol...plus i'm really bored!

well, i guess it's time for another update on just another day in life of averagejane...lol

so school has begun yet again. and even though i totally was registering last min, i still was able to get into some of the classes i needed to take lol. i am taking spanish 1010 on mondays and wednesdays, Political science 1100 ( American Govt.) on tuesdays... and lastly i have a yoga class on thursdays! lol this is gonna be fun! i really am genuinely excited for my classses...as silly as that may seem... :D it's gonna be fun to work around with my wedding though...lol

as to wedding details too...lol me and jay have finally, of sorts, set a concrete date. we are planning for October 18th! lol i hope that that will stay as our date. hopefully it will also work out for jay's brother to come up that day. I am actually really excited as i have found a first and second choice for where we can have the wedding...lol i hope my first choice works out as i really like the place just from the pictures. but me and jay hopefully will be able to go check it out this saturday...

hmm...and other news with me. well, i have been sick with a funky cold this past week here. today is the first day i've been really startin to feel better! lol it's cuz i finally had my mom help me find some stronger drugs lol :D turns out that the cold meds we have been buying are missing an ingredient they used to have :) lol psuephedrine i believe it's called. seems that ppl are using it to make meth! lol who'd a thunk? lol so you can still get it as an "over-the-counter" drug...but you jsut have to go to the pharmacist and show ID and sign for it lol :D so now i'm doin better.

lol but yea.. also , i'll be bloggin for the first time in a bit on jay's blog! lol he added me as an author :D so feel free to check it out :D

laters...
averagejane signing off :D

when harry met sally...or somethin like that :)

so i guess some of you have been waiting for details on the engagement lol :D so here goes...

well, about a month or so ago, jay told me about this cool meteor shower that i totally had to see :) and of course i said, if i can convince my parents to let me out til 3 or 4 in the morning watching it, and get work off the next day...i totally want to come :) why wouldn't i? lol more time to spend with jay. anyhoo...so that day finally came...august 11th at about midnight..

i was so stoked to go watch the meteor shower. jay came to my house around 11:20 pm to pick me up...originally it was gonna be midnight...then he just had to get outta his house earlier so he came over :D i was just watchin titanic cuz i've never seen it. so then i went out to meet him and we headed up. i was smart enough to at least bring a jacket and a blanket lol. but not smart enough to wear real shoes! :O i wore flip flops...lol anyhoo.

so we drove up to a little town just west of park city. it was called pinebrook i believe. for those of you familiar with jeremy ranch, it was that exit. there is this cute little park in the town that we went to. we first off went and laid on the grass. it was wet cuz the lawn was in the process of being watered by sprinklers....thank goodness we had a blanket that was okay to lay on the wet grass and wouldn't soak through lol. but it was cold! lol i know it probably really wasn't too cold temperature wise...but when you've been used to like 100 degree weather...lol

but after laying there for around 20 min, jay says to me that there's this park bench on the other side of the park, and that we should go watch the meteors from there. so we head in the general direction of it...though it was hard to see cuz it was way dark. lol thank goodness i noticed there were three big sprinklers in our path so we could divert and not get wet and more cold than it already was :D so we eventually got to the little path that led to the bench. as we got closer i noticed that it had a little wood covering over it. it was cute and i remember thinking..."that will get in the way of our view of the stars, but okay...lol" and as we got even closer, i noticed the little candles lining the pathway right directly to the bench and remarked, "oh what cute little candles!" lol i was oblivious (i found out later that jay had to keep so hard from laughing at my total cluelessness...lol and he was worried i would figure it out too soon...lol) but then jay stopped and turned and pulled me to him. he gave his little speech about how he loved me and other cute little things for my ears only...lol (sorry ppl) but then he reached into his jacket pocket, and went down on one knee. that's the moment when my head screamed "oh my god...ohmygod~!" lol over and over...and he asked me to marry him. and i of course said yes, with tears beginning to stream down my face ...*tears up remembering* it was so cute and i had planned to jokingly tell him no when he proposed, but there really was no way i could say no....not even joking...

so i am now officially the almost happiest and luckiest girl in the world! lol i say almost, cuz i will be the luckiest girl in the world when i am Mrs. Amy Shepherd...lol anyhooo...in anticipation of the question most everyone will ask, we are tentatively thinking mid-october for the wedding....lol

oh and i found this cute quote online from the movie When Harry Met Sally. lol it goes "When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible. " thats how i feel!! :D

and one last other piece of news i just received tonight lol i have another engaged friend! my friend courtney richins is engaged! lol i just hope she knows i'm so happy for her :D

well i need sleep. my brother comes home tomorrow. loads to do :D

OMG!!!

lol okay...i know it's like 3 in the morning...but this totally warrants a blog post...lol especially since i haven't blogged in a little while! and the title of this blog pretty much sums up how i'm feelin at the moment ! lol lol but....

I'M ENGAGED!!!! lol it's so awesome, exciting, scary...amzing....lol just a whole jumble of things. it feels weird to be writing this...to be thinking of jay shepherd, the love of my life, as my fiancè....lol like i'm so stoked, but my head is still havin troubles wrappin around the idea! lol i think i'm still in shock mode, as this is not what i expected! lol not this soon...lol can't wait til tomorrow...lol and i do mean tomorrow...lol i get to show my ring off at work! lol it's so cute! lol just simple and silver, with a cute little delicate diamond...lol i love it! lol

well, i'm gonna close. i'll write more details when i wake up later today! :D lol

one last note...actually. lol it's funny cuz i can't seem to keep a smile off my face. lol i'm jsut so giddy and full of energy..which is why i'm still up! lol i love jay....

laters

averagejane signing off! :D life is fantabulous...i'm engaged and have a fiancè! lol gotta keep sayin that to get used to it :D lol

hickeys...he he

Lol so here i am at work. i know i probably should not be goofin off on the net...but i just thought i'd blog a sec. lol



so let's just say that i have a few lovely little hickeys..lol not the first time. but i got one of the funniest responses today, from a customer. lol just to explain a little, i have a few along the line of my neck/collarbone...hehe... and i actually am wearing a higher collared shirt so they don't show as much. but the the collar keeps slippin a bit low.anyhoo, so this guy says to me, " did you get attacked by a vacuum?" lol i just kinda laughed and said " somethin like that." lol then he said, "nasty little suckers." lol it really made me laugh. he didn't say anything else, and then went on his way. so i assume he knew that they were hickeys...lol but yeah... that was my laugh for the day..

i think i've had some funny responses the last time i got a major hickey or two...lol i had the ladies in my office making fun of me..lol my favorite has to be Connie's reaction. She is probably late 50's to mid 60s...and she said to me, " back in my day, we would get them where you couldn't see them, where you could hide them." lol that totally made me laugh. i mean, jsut imagining her having to even need to hide a hickey! lol to be honest, i could see it...lol but it's just too dang funny...

oh yeah...then today, the ladies noticed somewhat of my current hickeys...lol made some comment about "did you notice the little trail on her neck?" lol kind of said it a bit softer than normal...lol but just almost a stage whisper...like to see if i noticed them lol it was funny.

lol oh and then i was telling my friend Callie, here at work, about the guy's reaction from this morning. and she said i should tell my boyfriend that real love doesn't need to leave a mark...lol it was cute! i might tell him that. :D then i told callie that well, i'm half to blame...hehe. anyhoo...lol

well that's all for now...good times :D i'm lucky today cuz my boyfriend is coming by to take me to lunch! yay! can't wait to see him! well, 'til later!

averagejane signing off

just silly me

well...here i am again, not like a month since my last post...lol let's just say i got home early and i'm in a blogging mood...but what else is new? lol

tonight has been a total flip of the the other night. i was freaking out and would have been okay if jay had left early and had some time to think to myself...tonight, i didn't want to leave. it's crazy. i guess now that i've had my major freak out, i should be okay for a while. i can't wait though, for that night that i don't have to say good bye. that i can just curl up in his arms, say goodnight and know i'll wake up next to him in the morning.

funny thing my mom actually said to me, she asked me if i was going to keep up this habit of late nights when i get married...lol i told her not so much. you see, i don't have to say goodbye, so i don't have to stay up all night with him, cuz i don't want him to leave. lol she didn't believe me, said i already had a habit of late nights! lol i told her she was silly :D i don't stay up late.... ;)

but yeah. i'm back at the point where it makes me really sad to say goodnight..but, it's all good...lol i'm strong. lol and i'll see him again in about 8 hours...lol well a little over 8 hrs...lol

i find that because i've been getting home late, i neglect my journal writing and my blogging, as i do my best writing at night...plus its the most convenient time to write...i also find my mind opens up most at night. that can be a good or bad thing...and sometimes scary. cuz i find my mind wandering where i really don't want to think about, cuz my thoughts can be somewhat depressing...other times, i find myself overthinking things, or thinking about things that i can worry about later...then again, there is usually one thing i enjoy thinking about, cuz it has to do with my best friend, the love of my life...the one i can't wait to have forever with! lol yeah...i'm guilty, i'm planning my wedding in my head...lol kind of funny, cuz growing up, i was a helpless romantic. yet, i was not the kind of girl that sat there and planned out exactly what her colors were, what her dress looked like, where she was getting married, how the reception area was decorated, etc. i had bits and pieces that when i saw cute ideas, that i would kind of store away for later...but now, i find myself looking at my friends weddings for ideas...lol like i had one friend just get married. she had her reception in an LDS church building cultural halll ( AKA.. the gym area). and she had this fabric draped over canopy style that was incredibly cute! LOL and i kind of said to jay...hmm...that is cute...and started thinking about it...lol but that's just silly me...

but yeah...probably should go write in my journal....

lol average jane signing off....

( love you jay....kisses) lol

dunno...

so i know i should be getting to sleep. after all i have to be up again in just under six hours...lol but here i am, half falling asleep, half wide awake, and fully in a blogging mood....

well, i know earlier this week, jay told me i needed to update my blog cuz i haven't written since the 5th...lol he's one to talk as he hasn't written anything since the 18th, of june...lol

so maybe i'll start with an update and see where that takes me.

wow...to be honest i don't know where to begin..my thoughts are all a jumble and can't seem to place any of it in some sort of order. guess i'll just start with whats foremost on my mind at the moment.

last week, i went on vacation with my family down to Moab, Utah...lol i know. not very far, but it was a small escape. However, wasn't the most brilliant plan as it was actually hotter than in Salt Lake. lol my idea to go there...silly me. But, i did mostly enjoy the trip. we got to see Arches and Canyonland, which i hadn't been to in 3 years almost. i got to convince my family to go to the fiery furnace cuz it really is a beautiful spot to explore. i really did enjoy the trip, once i got past missing jay so much. it's kind of funny. you don't really realize how much you see of a person, how much you take for granted, until you have to be apart. we were apart for a week and a half. yet i literally went crazy. on vacation...i was in a pissy mood half the time, a quarter of the time sluggish, and the last quarter, trying to focus on music and takin pictures so i wouldn't be pissy or sluggish. it took real effort to make it through the week i was in Moab. my family noticed it. i was texting him when i could, yet it was not enough. i talked to him a few times, which actually helped. kind of calmed me down, was good to know he was going as crazy as me. one time, as hard as this is to admit, i broke down. i don't know if being tired added to it all, but i was talking to my mom and she said to me, " you miss him huh..." and i replied "yeah..." and lost it. started to cry a bit as i was telling her how crazy i was going... its an odd feeling, yet good cuz it means i'm feeling something...that this all is the real thing. cuz why would i miss him so much if it wasn't love. i guess others could have their opinion on that. but, this missing him was different from mising anyone else. i just wanted to see him, to feel his arms around me. to know that he was still there and still loved me. thats all... the phone calls eased this ache.

i finally lost it though on sunday. i couldn't eat, cuz i knew i would only be eatin out of boredom and nothing else to do. i had things to do in my room, yet i couldn't concentrate. i thought maybe i'd watch a movie, but i couldn't focus enough to decide on one. i finally resorted to balancing my checkbook, with minimal concentration. i was in a funk and lost. i had finally gone over the edge. it was the weirdest feeling. my life felt...empty...pointless without him. i felt as if i just needed him there to be able to function. i've never felt so helpless in my life.

finally the day came that he returned. tuesday night. work was torture. i should have been able to focus on work cuz i was busy...but my mind was counting down the hours...the minutes...til he would be home. i even stayed after work to try and focus my mind elsewhere while i waited, as i knew i would just fall off the deep end if i waited at home. then finally....he was home. when he came to my house, the first thing i did was hurry out the door and pull him into a big hug, then of course kissed him. my life was back together...

we now have vowed never to spend more than 4 days apart. we can't handle it. he was going just as crazy as me while he was gone. Oh, btw, while i was gone on vacation, so was he. He, unfortunately was gone 3 days longer than me.... but it's all good now.

then, tonight...i had my first real "freak-out" about my relationship with jay. with me, a freak-out is bound to happen in any relationship. most often it ends in me breaking up with the guy because i get to a "what the hell am i doing" kind of realization. i've always broken up with the guy, not the other way around... so i guess it's been a bit easier for me. but, this freak-out point really threw me for a loop. it wasn't at all like the other few had been. there is that part of me that is saying "what the hell are you doing!" while the other is saying..." you love him, he loves you. what else do you need?" it's weird really. especially how it all went. because like all of today and yesterday, i've been having these freak out thoughts. like "you had your future all planned...finish college, get a degree, get a good job, make mega bucks, don't even think about marriage til 25 yrs old. etc." the one typical freak out thought. yet tonight started out normal. i was glad to be with jay, just content...then as we were heading back to my house, it was like something just switched in me. something snapped. i decided to walk in the middle of my residential street to home. it was about midnight...so the street was kind of empty. jay kept trying to get me to come back to the sidewalk, but i wouldn't be persuaded. i was kind of pissy and said i want to walk in the middle of the f---in' street...so he walked by me for a bit, then kind of gettin the distance i was mentally away...he went back to the sidewalk. i was reminded of when friends and i had walked these streets. how i was the crazy, independent girl. the one cool girl in the ward, according to my foster boy friends...lol good times. and a part of me misses that...life was a little more carefree then. i didn't care really what i was doing, it just happened. i didn't care about much of what i did... and it scares me a bit, to find myself feeling like i'm losing that crazy independent girl. becoming the girl that loses it when she is away from her guy too long. scares her that she needs someone in her life to make it complete. i was always saying that even though i was a helpless romantic, i needed no guy to complete my life. i always prided myself on being the one who loved less in relationship, that it was easier for me to detach myself once i freaked out...once i got bored. yet here i am, so blatantly gone. and that in itself scares me. yet through all this, jay remains a rock. i sat there just babblin away about all of this to him tonight... and he just listened...and told me he loved me. i told him he had to be crazy to love me....lol and yet one thing overall keeps me sane through all this, the fact that even though i am freaking out, i love jay. i cannot imagine having to live without him. with tonight, i think mostly i just needed to voice my freak out thoughts...i felt so much lighter, and much more calm and composed. jay just listened and when i was done, just pulled me to him and held me...and i just stayed there in his arms, content to be there, not needing anything else.

isn't it crazy how life can switch so fast....i say i love change and i do, yet major changes throw me for a loop. i can last a little while, but eventually it all catches up to me, and lets just say i suck dealing with change...that is one of my biggest weaknesses...oh well. i cope with it.

well, i think i've written my first short story :) lol this would be my cue to stop. as i am actually starting to fall asleep now. which is good. i need to be able to crash and just rest.

i close this, my diary of jane....

stir crazy...missin ppl

so i've been crazy busy today. i actually made myself get up at 7:30 ish, when my body woke me up. crazy i know. and then i just set to cleaning my room. lol got that done, organized my books, and then set about to actually vacuuming my room. crazy isn't it. i haven't vacuumed it in several weeks and god knows it needed it. not that it was disgustin or anything, just in need of sucking up little crumbs and bits of paper and dirt and such. it was actually nice to feel like i had cleaned all that. the next task i set out to tackle was to wash my flip flops. gross...lol but i wanted to wear them so it needed to be done. so i went to go wash them in the tub and was pulling back the shower curtain, when some of the grime on the shower curtain got on my hands...ICK!!!!! yah that was the motivation to finally take that down and wash it. now i couldn't throw both pieces of the curtain into the washer, unfortunately. no i had to take the plastic liner and hand wash it! lol i know heaven forbid i do things like hand washing something! lol so i took it out on the deck and set about tryin to blast off the more grosser parts with my handy hose...lol then i got a scrubber brush and some ajax cleaner. took me a while, but i finally finished it. lol then there was the matter of rinsing off all the cleaner stuff. cuz the water jsut kind of pooled on the curtain...kind of reminded me of a slip 'n slide. lol i was ready to get out a tarp and make a slip n slide! lol but yah... so then i ingeniously hung the curtain from my roof, like the overhanging part, and sprayed it down and let it dry.

lol while it dried i decided to go shoppin for some other things. went to albertson's for some frisby pizzas, went to walmart for a scrubber, went to party city for sparkler candles, then to zurchers for some friendship bracelets. lol found the coolest thing there too!~! lol i found chinese jump ropes!!! i totally was stoked to see those~!! i havent' had one since elementary and i was in fact talking with my family about them the other day and i commented on how i couldn't find them anymore, wasn't even sure they sold them anymore. so i was overzealous and bought four of them! lol they were only like a buck a piece! lol so then i came home and had lunch...then napped. i was pretty worn out. just as i was laying down to nap though, got a text from jay...lol told me how he had fun horseback riding...lol i want to ride a horse someday...lol sure i will!

so then i got up about 4:30 and finished off my pizza for dinner. then i went about getting my shower curtain back up, cleaned more of my bathroom, then finally tackled cleaning my flip flops. i decided to be smart about it and just tackle half of them, seeing as i'm not sure i would have the patience to tackle them all. lol i have like 15 or so pairs i think. i need a few new ones cuz some are looking a bit ragged...lol anyhoo..

so then i just kind of started texting ppl while i was cleaning my flip flops...i kind of was starting to go stir crazy in my house...needing to get out...i first texted my boyfriend...took him a bit to answer...lol he was headed back from riding horses....lol he must be tired. i was missing him though. its crazy cuz i just saw him the night before. but i just was missing him . and i hate texting him much though, cuz i don't know why, but i just sometimes get the feeling that maybe he is just sick of me, or doesn't really wanna talk to me. i don't think this is really the case, but this feeling comes from the impersonal feeling of texting someone. like you can't get their tone of voice from a text, or their facial expression or anything...and i just worry too much.

so when i didnt' hear from my boyfriend at first, i texted my friend, ty, to see what was up with him. he didnt text back....so i texted my sister rachel. she texted back first...so i chatted with her. and we ended up setting up plans to go to a movie tonight... i need to get outta my house. i think i'll go crazy otherwise. cuz i'm just sick of being here. and i am missing jay...lol i need to get my mind on something else. i am crazy...

lol well...so today went okay... but i gotta go now, gonna meet my sista for a movie...

laters....