Saturday, January 13, 2007

can i love myself?

lately i don't know where i'm going in life. but, lately i sometimes hate myself. i find myself acting the way i really get on my friend's cases about being. and as i typed that i realized taht it made absolutely no sense. but what i meant to say is that i rag on my friends for being so cynical, or so stupid and not caring, not having emotions. then i turn around and find myself doing the same thing. and i guess the fact that i let myself be like this, makes me hate who i am sometimes. then there are those times when i'm okay. i love life and can't wait for all my trips and stuff. but more often than not, i'm really hating myself. and it sucks. but, it's okay. i'lll be fine.

anyhoo, i got a temporary job today. it pays $8 an hour. so it'll get me by for now.

average jane signing off.

11 comments:

Nathan said...

Hey, I've totally been there myself. It's an ugly road to be on, isn't it? If you need anything, you know where to find me.

Where are you working now?

The Warrior said...

$8, eh? That's fair. More than I make. ;-D

And I went through that for a period myself. Just remember one thing, although it likely won't help you too much: we all love you, and we don't hate you.

Remember that. Please, Amy? You're like a little sister to me, and it pains me to see you in hurting.

If there's anything I can do...

Stephanie said...

You know my number if you need me.

I heart you!

jane said...

hey thanx guys. you all are too sweet! love ya bunches

and i'm okay now.

and steph, i heart you too!

The Warrior said...

I usually think I'm not sweet enough....

jane said...

spencer you are way beyond sweet. honestly. :)

The Warrior said...

Yeah, that's what they tell me...sometimes. I am always thinking that I'm not kind enough....

But thank you. When you say those things to me, it means more than you'll ever know.

I don't know, this is sort of strange, and it's going to sound even stranger when I say it, but I just though that I'd tell you that you have secured a place in my heart that will never be occupied by anyone else in the world.

You're like a sister to me. I have a sister so I know what that is like, and although no one could ever take her place, you have found yourself one, too.

Maybe I have a little extra room in there, who knows?

Love,

Spencer

jane said...

oh spencer.

you totally jsut made me so happy. you really are so sweet and what you said made me almost want to cry. you are a great friend, no matter if anyone tells me i can't be really good friends with someone i jsut know over the internet. honestly. and i know we'll be friends for a long time to come. thanx for all you wrote, it really made me happy.

luv,
ames

The Warrior said...

You're welcome with all I can give! Anytime you need a verbal pick-me-up I'm you're guy! I didn't mean to make you almost cry, I'm sorry! It's just that I think that people should say things that they might not always, because life is to short and too unpredictable.

And if anyone ever says that no one can be good friends over the web, we've proved them wrong. I find that I feel incredibly close to you, so much it almost hurts! (No, not really, ha ha ;-P)

We disproved it dead!!!!!! Mwahahahaa!!!!!!!!!!

jane said...

well, disproved it dead huh? lol
that's awsome. i really think that this is fun to be able to talk over the net and it's one way to get to know you more. :D

The Warrior said...

Yeah...I find that it actually can sometimes tell you more about someone than if you only know them, say from my job (or your school) or whatever! Right cuzzy lizzy?