a good movie, but better if i had my friend to share it with

so i went and saw pirates of the carribean 3 last night at 8pm!!!! can i just say amzing!!! it was so good. very well put together and so suspenseful! i was on the edge of my seat, literally, for at least half of the movie. and jack sparrow is a hoot! he keeps the movie running once again. my favorite line from him is "Nobody move! I lost my brain!!" lol you'll just have to see it to understand what i'm talkin about. oh and we got these free scarves that have a skull and cross bones on them that come from disneyland and cost $22.00 normally!!! they are so cool!! i'm wearing mine to school today to show it off. cuz i mean it's a shame to get it and not be able to wear it just cuz it's summer and warmish weather already! lol anyhoo, so that was awsome.

but also i came on to say that i miss my best friend, a lot. i miss how we used to talk about everything. and i know that i'm to blame for half of it falling apart. i need to just get over whatever unresolved issues i have with dave or steph. cuz i miss having her to talk to. and i'm sort of letting my pride get in the way of us being just friends again. like i'm not sayin i can be best friends again and trust her just as much. but i miss her as just a friend. i miss talking to her and telling her my good and bad stuff. and for the second time in the longest while, my mom said something that actually was something i could use. she said that sometimes you just need to renegotiate a relationship. because i think the hardest thing is that i want our relationship to be the same, when it's not. so maybe it's time to just start over and create a new relationship with steph as just friends, someone i can talk to. and actually not necessarily starting over. just reorganizing our friendship so that we don't keep making these stupid mistakes. cuz no matter how many times i say that oh i have other friends and that i can survive without a best friend, i still want steph as my friend. i want to be happy for her when she gets married. i want to be her best friend supporting her through whatever decisions she makes, even if i don't always agree. cuz that's what friendship is about. we've both made mistakes. we've both been at fault. and once again i let my pride get in the way. so i guess i'm just sayin that i miss steph a lot....

so maybe i'll print this out for her to read, cuz i know if i try to tell her it all, i'll probably just start crying. and i've already done enough crying....

anyhoo, i'm okay and i hope i can work things out...

averagejane signing off..
(oh ps. so i might get to move up in my job at steve regan. i'll explain later! )