cute dresses and dumbass exs

so last night. sadly eric got sick and couldn't come. kinda sucked. but i still got to hang with steph. so it was all good. we ended up looking at dresses prom dresses and such. it was fun and i ended up really liking this dress that steph's sister wore once. and it's oober cute. but then we finished the movie, "save the last dance." it was way cute and i absolutely love it! anyhoo, then we went and saw premonition. i love it. we had to miss the last 10 -15 minutes cuz i had to make curfew. oh well, good stuff.

but right now i totally am pissed off at my ex. i decided to take the past month off of talking to him and really figure out my feelings and get it all solidified. so i finally got all things figured out and i decided to email him. then i get this dumbass email from him. and now i could care less if i ever saw him again. but, for a friend's sake i will be civil if i see him again. all of this has only solidified my feelings that i don't want to be with him ever again. i'm moving on. and i'm taking control of my life.

so tha's life. i just keep up thinking happy thoughts, like when i might see eric again. cuz i really need some laughs. and a hug. most definitely a hug. cuz today just kind of sucks. ugh.

average jane signing off. (i'm moving on for real this time)

ungrounding and boys! :D

so here's an update on life. yeah i know. wow. two updates so close together, amzing! :D but anyhoo, so life's okay. well, better today than it was yesterday. so yesterday i hung with steph. but i got home late and missed curfew. so i got grounded and would have been grounded until maybe next week if i hadn't groveled. i talked to my mom and apologized for being late and for yelling at her. then we worked things out. and i was gonna spend all day friday with steph and eric, and possibly sleep over at stephs tonight, before i got grounded. but then my mom decided that i would be able to hang out with steph and eric at night, cuz i kind of told her i was going on a date and that's why friday night was so special. so i got myself free for friday from 5pm until midnight! yeah! so me and steph will get together early around 5. and then the "date" of sorts with with eric. lol yeah i'm excited to see him again. cuz i like him.

anyhoo, so other news. well, in 20 days, almost 19 now, i will be leaving for San Francisco!!! :D yeah i'm counting down. so sue me! :D

anyhoo, so lifes okay. i 'm fine and life will be okay. hope you all are good! :D

average jane signing off! (smile!)

an update. i'm so not moping :D

so i realized that i needed to update on my situation. because you all are probably thinking that i'm still mooning over this stupid boy who didn't call. well, here's the update. i met another guy. yeah he's a lot cuter and a lot funnier. and way nice. i like him. lol yeah i know. that's what i said about the other stupid boy.

so his name is eric, which is just kind of odd to say cuz my brother's name is eric. but this eric is cute, and so not like my boring brother. :D and he's older than me. i know, suprise, cuz i manage to like younger guys in the past. but he's a year and two days older than me. and he went to my high school. but it's cool. and we met through steph. it's so funny. and he kinda likes me too. and i guess what amzes me most, is that he said that i am gorgeous, and naturally just really pretty. and i'm not saying that i'm think i'm ugly or anything. but, for a guy to tell me i'm gorgeous, it doesn't happen often. so it's nice to hear it. and he totally wants to hang out again. can't wait.

well, other goin ons in my life. ummm...in 3 weeks from tomorrow, i'll be in San Francisco!!! i'm stoked. and get this, i'm gettin my ears double pierced while i'm there. and two other friends will be doing it with me! i'm so excited, partly cuz my mom will disapprove. lol n e hoo. well, tha's most of my boring existence for now. lol

average jane signing off. :D (life's good! )

finding my own strength

hey call me crazy, but i've totally been feeling the need to post. i guess just a lot of things running through my mind. i really am a bit upset that that boy still hasn't called. but you know? i'm slowly coming to the realization that i need to not care so much if he calls. cuz ya know, the ball's in his court, it's his move. and i've done my part. it's okay. guys are not worth crying over, figuratively speaking, and the one that is, won't make you cry. so i'm just gonna accept that maybe this is a hint that it wouldn't have worked out and that maybe i really am just supposed to not be with a guy right now. after all, i still need to finish working out my issues with a previous boyfriend. i think i know where i stand with all of that, but i just need to have time to solidify them. cuz if everything goes okay, he'll be back in three weeks. so i need to know everything for myself by then so i can stand strong and know i've made the right choice. this wasn't entirely what i was gonna blog about, but i guess i needed to write it down so that others can see it and that i can't back out or be stupid and take the easy way out. not this time. it's my time to be the strong one. my time. and it's now, only up to me. wow i sound like some self help novel or sumthin. lol. oh well that's me. and if that boy does call, cool. if not, it's not the end of the world. i'm a strong girl. girl power! lol :D

average jane signing off.

fooling myself

so i guess somehow i had managed to convince myself that this would be different. that a guy liked me. and i guess i managed to fool myself. but you know. i'm okay. so that guy i mentioned before. yeah haven't talked to him in a week. way annoying. he was supposed to call. but didn't . maybe he has a valid explanation. i dunno. but right now i'm just pissed. and once again realizing why i don't get my hopes up about guys. it's all good though. i'm a tough girl.

the sad thing is, a part of me is still waiting for him to call. hoping he'll have a valid explanation for why he didn't call. silly me. still waiting, still hoping. for now.


average jane signing off.

hullo and a new boy! :D

just making a quick note to tell ppl that i'm okay. i'm alive and okay. no need to worry.

but i'm having issues with something in my life. having trouble keeping to my resolve. but i'm staying strong cuz i know that it's all for the best.

and i needed to make a note that i've met a new guy. we'll call him....... umm....what the hell, his name is zach. and he's cute funny, and smart. he's sweet. and best of all, i think he might like me too. but i'll just have to wait and see how things develop. but it should be fun. as i am not looking for serious. just someone who makes me laugh and that i can have fun with. oh did i mention he's a junior? well, i must admit i was shocked. thought he was a senior like me. but ya know? as long as he's not more than a year younger than me, i'm okay. but yeah. so that's life right now.

shout out to all my good friends. especially my bestest friend. hold on and things will work out. you know what i mean. :D

average jane signing off. (hey life's good. thank god for boys! :D )

me as an inconsiderate bitch

so it seems that i've managed to screw things up again. don't know how i manage to be so talented. but i managed it. yeah totally stupid me.

so i though i had things going okay. i was thinking that i had finally figured things out. yeah right. my emotions went skeewompous again. (and no i'm not sure that's a word) but i managed all in one night to lie to a friend, and to myself and not be fully honest to another. well, i lied to my friend in not telling them all i was feeling. i lied straight to their face in saying that i was over an issue. and i guess in a way i was trying to convince myself that i had moved on. cuz i knew i needed to. but you know. didn't quite work out. and i was turning into someone i'm totally not proud of. and it sucks. cuz once again i've screwed up a friendship, over a stupid issue we had sort of just gotten over. and this time, it was totally all my fault and i hate it. and not i'm not throwing myself a damned pity party. i know i was in the wrong here. and this friend i really hurt emailed me to yell at me. and the hardest part, the fact that every bit of it is true. i'm am a bitch only going back to this issue cuz it was convenient for me. (if you don't know what issue i'm talking about, sucks for you. spencer if you have questions, don't comment, just email me and no one else.) but, so it hurt to realize that everything this friend was telling me i was doing, i really was. and i feel like such an inconsiderate bitch. but, yeah. and i guess i just need to say i'm sorry to the other party involved that this issue deals with strongly. i'm so sorry we got this up again. and my other friend. i'm sorry. i guess what we need is time apart. but yeah i need to just be alone and figure out what the hell is going on with me. so i might pop in from time to time to post, but don't worry if i don't appear too often.

average jane signing off.