san fran in 2 days

so hey i thought i'd just come and post an update. cuz i won't be here for a lot of time in the next few weeks. but so i get to leave in 2 days and 11 hours!!! oober excited.
and when i come back more likely than not i will be grounded by saturday or sunday. cuz of my ear piercings. so i've decided taht i'm gonna not tell my parents about my piercings until after friday so i can go out with friends. anyhoo, that's it for now.

average jane signing off! (can't wait! )

my bed breaking story and others

well, so let's just say that first off steph has inspired me to write my bed breaking story. so it was at girls camp in the summer of 2005. we were up at this new heber valley girls camp thingy. we got to stay in these cool cabin thingys and they each had about 12 bunkbeds. one night kylee williams and a couple of other girls got the bright idea to see how many girls we could fit on one bunk bed. cuz they had a lot of space in between the top and bottome bunk. so we all went into cabin 3. and then we got the first layer of about 4 or 5 girls on. maybe 6. then we started on the second row. we had about 10-12 girls on the bed. and then my friend jackie started to get on. then all of the sudden, we heard a crack and we all went plummeting to the floor! oh my god we all jumped off as fast as we could. we hurridly put the board back up and made it look okay. then a leader taht i absolutely dislike, came in. and she was like oh what's up? cuz we all looked a bit suspicious. and so we said you won't hate us or anything, right? and she said, "as long as you haven't damaged camp property....." cuz we had to pay for any damage to camp. and we all looked at each other then one girl said,'.....we broke the bed..." my leader's mouth formed into a perfect o of surprise. funniest look ever!!!! : D but then, we got kylee's dad to fix it up so that it looked okay. the camp ppl never knew.... (other girls said taht you could hear the cracking sound a few cabins over! :D)

but that's my story for that. but last night was one all of it's own. so i went to steph's mutual last night and we got some suckers from her easter hunt thingy. and we had decided to go visit dave at work. i got the bright idea to with the suckers in our mouths. and then steph expounded on that by saying we should go with our hair in pigtails!! lol great experience and worth it. and we got it in pics. we did this photo booth thingy i'd never done before!! lol : D my fav. radio station does this thing called a bitch slap. it's where you i call the radio to slap someone over the air that has been a bitch to you. so i call in and they finally answer. so i told them i wanted to bitch slap andrea. it was funny! and i think i might have been on the air cuz they had me hold on a sec before giving the details! i hope i was on the air. cuz i love that radio situation. anyhoo, then we came home and saw the first part of a movie called ENOUGH. i love that show. and we're gonna finish it tonight at stephs house when i sleep over. :D lol. yeah life's good.

and guess what!!!!!! ??? in about 6 days i'll be in san fran!!! i can't wait. well g2g!

average jane signing off! (life is amzing!)

steps to strength :a good day! :D

has anyone ever become so addicted to blogging that it hurt them? that would be funny to hear of. cuz i have to admit that at times i am way addicted to blogging. cuz sometimes it just helps to get everything out online, and it's just different from writing in my journal. but somehow better. because i do really tell my feelings sometmes, completely not caring what ppl think, cuz it's my blog. but anyhoo, i'm babbling! :D

so my path to finding my inner strength.....well, i've first begun it with tryin to get better in shape. i'm doing a few pushups, sit ups and leg lifts a day. i do some in the morning and some at night. so far so good. it's actually quite rejuvenating! amzing. but then i'm also redecorating my room of sorts... like my quotes are being re arranged and i'm puttin new ones up. like the quote of today is...."some ppl think it's holding on that makes one strong-sometimes it's letting go." and i realize that a lot of my drama and heartache and such are from not letting go of things. i tell myself that i've let go, buti havent'. and so i found this quote particularly amzing. and so i put it all pretty up on my closet door. i had fun doing it! :D let's just say i had a good amount of time on my hands! :D but these are only the beginning steps. one i would like to do is to eat healthier and such, but that will prove to be a bit more trying as i really love my disgusting junk food! : ( but i'll work on that one.
my next step is to catch up on my homework....that's proving difficult already. no duh. but life isn't supposed to be easy.

oh yah know, when i really put my mind to it, it wasn't all that hard to stay happy and positive even when i really wanted to slug my choir teacher! i just was goofy and din't have to like everything she said. but it was fun. now i need to be positive tomorrow! i can do it. :D

oh and the most random thing? so i go to seminary, but dont really like it, but somehow i manage to be the top person in my class on the scripture mastery challenge. i totally smoked my teacher coleman. but yeah so random. but i have to admit i love scripture chases! cuz i totally dominate. so i get to compete tomorrow. nathan are you not just so proud that i'm actually participating in class? *eye roll* lol but yeah i'm crazy.

so this has been a really good day. oh except that my mom wants me to go to some lame baby shower for a cousin i barely talk to. ugh. maybe i can drag a friend with. my mom is pretty set on not letting me, but i kind of told her i would only go if i could bring a friend to suffer with me. LOL but yeah otherwise, life is good. i have the house to myself as i type this, but who knows when they'll be home. ugh. but life is awsome!

average jane signing off!! ( my path is my own and i will prove stronger than any foe i may come across !)

finding my inner strength

well, here's another update. so my date was okay last night. kind of odd. but okay. and i guess it made me realize that i can only be friends with guy#2 that i mentioned. so that's it. but yeah lifes okay. and i'm moving on. i guess it's time to use my inner strength and be on my own. cuz i left myself be too easily influended by others and what they do. i'm needing to stand on my own two feet and make my decisions by what i believe. i found that last night that i kind of just went with things that i wasn't so sure of. i'm good though and i can be strong. life will be awsome.

average jane signing off. :D

update previously untitled

well, here's my update for the week. so i have the habit of freaking out about things when i really have no cause to. like if i start a new relationship with someone, i think too much about it and then really flip. that's basically what destroyed my last relationship. and it's hitting me again. and it kind of sucks. cuz i want to find a serious relationship, but at the same time, i have to take it slow and get to know a person before i can even begin to conquer this odd habit. but yeah so there are two guys in my life that i don't know what i want with, as in friendship/relationship. a friend advised strongly against one. because lets just say that this one is into not so great of stuff, yet he makes me feel great. like i have a friend when sometimes i feel like i've lost other friends. especially my close ones. and that's why i stay in touch with him. but then the other guy, well, i'm still not sure about him. like we only met a few weeks ago, and i still need to figure out what i want out of this. like maybe just a friendship, or maybe more. all i know is that for now i'm sticking with just friends until i get to know them both better. and damn i'm still in high school, so i have a few years to worry about getting really serious with anyone. even though a part of me really wants it. i cant let myself because i know that i dont need it and that i need to really get to know a person and be sure that such a relationship is what i want. of course there are also other things that need to be considered. like sometimes these guys i speak of don't seem to be on the same mind track as me. like they might possibly do things or be into things i'm not so sure about. i may not have real set standards, and really dont believe a lot of the things of the mormon church, as is my family's religion, but there are some things i won't be pressured into. like in boy# 1's case, we'll call him j. well, j. is kind of into drugs and such, sort of, and i don't think i'd want to get into that, but i know that j would never pressure me into anything i dont want. and he genuinely cares.... boy#2. well, i don't know him all that well yet so i don't know. i think he wouldn't pressure me into anything. but i guess i trust him. well, as much as i can barely knowing him. and also i guess i question how someone can really really like anyone they just only met. i dunno. it's just kind of my nature to think too much about things. but yeah.

so i guess the only way i can really see how things will be is to just kind of go with the flow. and i guess what complicates things is that there are other guys i like besides these main two. and one of the other guys i like are changing. and it's weird to see it. cuz it's kind of hard to see someone you care about changing before your eyes and theres nothing you can do. like another person i care about. they are chagning and it makes me wonder what's goin on in their life to have such an effect on their life to change them almost so completely that i barely know them anymore. and it really sucks. also another friend is kind of growing more distant.

but yeah that's life. but i'm reminding myself constantly that i need to just take risks, not worry so much and just have fun@! :D

oh totally funny story. so i called up my friend nathan to see if he wanted to come to this high school music festival thing. and my mom thinks i'm talking to eric, my new friend. and so when i ask nathan if he needs a ride, i ask my mom if i can have the care to go pick him up. but i don't say names and she thinks i'm talking to eric. and she kind of flips and says you can't be alone in a car with him. it's like a date!!! :D lol yeh my mom's strict. but then i explain after i hang up that i was talking to nathan and asked again if i could have the car to pick him up. and she immediately says oh! yeah tha's okay. it's just nathan. and then talkin to my dad, "it's not like he's gonna kiss her or makeout with her. " LOL yeh i busted up laughing. so then i pick up nathan and i tell him all this. and he says how does she know we wouldn't make out. Lol so i bust up laughing again. and he says it'd be funny if we did make out. it'd make a statement to my parents. but then he's like can you see us kissing? and i'm like sorry, no. he's like yeah. we're like brother and sister. lol but yeah now we have the funniest inside jokes. and today he joked with me and steph about me and him not going any farther than first base. lol good times!!! nathan made my day in saying that. lol

anyhoo, so that's my update! :D should last me for a while.

average jane signing off! ( time to take risks and just go with the flow.)

oh and one more thing. i guess focusing on these guys kind of distract me from the fact that it feels like i'm losing a really close friend. i know talking to j. does that. he understands and cares. i like that feeling a whole lot. ne who. average jane off! :D

i'm excited!!! :D

well, so life is going good. not too shabby. and i've got a date this friday that i'm really excited for . and we're gonna go see a movie and have dinner. gonn be fun! yeah can you tell i'm excited? lol

anyhooo, so more things in my life. well, prom is coming up. in like 2 weeks from saturday. kind of cool dance. and it's senior year so i have to go. like even if i don't get asked, i'm gonna go stag. stag meaning that i go wit hjust a group of girls. that would be funny. oh and then 2 weeks from today i'll be in san fran@!!!!!!!!!! i so cannot wait for it. cuz i'll be getting my ears pierced! LOL but

then 3 weeks from yesterday i'll be leaving for san fran again. i know i'm busy the whole month of april! it's gonna be great and then in may i will be having withdrawal issues. but it's all good!!! :D

average jane signing off! (i like ppl and san fran!!! )

overcoming challenges

so last night i went to my sisters's house and i talked to her and bawled my eyes out. i told my sister all that had gone down and i told her how i had been hurt by all dave had said, but the final straw had been the email from danny. he doesn't know all that has been going on. and he can't understand, cuz he doesn't know my side and my feelings. i sent him a reply to explain some things. i hope it helps. and i sent dave an email to apologize for how i harshly spoke to him. but i told him that i didn't regret what i said cuz i needed to say it. and i think that it'll be okay. well, at least i know that i did what i could to fix things. and i guess now it's just sit back and wait and see what happens. cuz the ball is in his court. and i hope we can work out. but that's life.

so i got an email from eric. and i realized taht just because i was upset and hurt by other guys, it didn't mean i needed to forget others that i care about. like my favorite quote says, love like you've never been hurt. and so i'm moving on again in my life. and i'm taking control. it's okay. and who knows. maybe eric could be jsut what i'm looking for. a mix of comic and sensitive amzing guy. it's gonna be okay. it will be.

average jane signing off. ( the world did turn upside down, but it's just a challenge i have to overcome. i'm sorry to those i hurt, but some of you hurt me too.)