if my 2 yr. old cousin gives me a kiss, am i not VL anymore?

lol i just wanted that title for the fun of it!!! :D cuz i always say how i'm still VL. and lately it really hasn't bugged me. anyhoo... so the point of it. well, my favorite family of cousins have this habit or upbringing that if you ask for a kiss, they'll kiss you on the lips. at first it used to kind of catch me off guard and kind of weird me out. but then, i'm pretty much okay with it now... so tonight i go up to my fav. little cousin jacob and say, "jakie, can i have hugs and kisses?" and he runs up to me and gives me the biggest hug and plants a kiss on my lips. so cute!!! at least i think it is. but then my cousins are leaving and i go to there car to get hugs and kisses goodbye... and so at first jake wouldn't give me hugs and kisses. so jessie gave me some. and let me say, she gives wet kisses!! lol i love my little cousins!!! so jake had to give me hugs and kisses too! and he gave me a lot of kisses!!! made me so happy. he's a sweetheart...

but so yeah.... i've just been thinking oober a lot about what all darion said. and to what friends have said. and so i guess maybe he is serious. the only way i can know for sure, is if i let him prove to me that he is serious....just kind of let things flow and let life move on. cuz i do like him... but for all together too long i've let myself become over concerned about how life works out, and oh what if this happened or that happened... what would i do? like a lot of my stress the past little while has been over why it seems like my romantic life doesn't ever work out. like the guys i like, never like me in that way, like as more than a friend. and also worrying about losing a really great friend. it seems this friend and i aren't as close as we were, and that we may not be close or such that way again. and then i realized... why am i worrying. i have been on my own before without a best friend, and if that happens i will be okay... also, until that happens i shouldn't worry.

i think it's time in my life to simply be more carefree...like not worryin too much about friends and other attachments i have. it's when i worry that i make myself upset and down... and it sucks. so i am not gonna worry about all the senseless things of life... i'm jsut gonna kind of glide through. i may still get upset about little things. but that's to be expected....it's life. so right now, well friends come and go...i'm stronger. and it's all good. but also, i think i may go for it, sort of, with darion. like just flirt back more, and give him the hint that i still like him as more than a friend. but yeah and just see where that takes me.. just follow my heart... i'm not stupid enough to let him hurt me.. i'm smarter than that. :D

average jane signing off...(life is interesting sometimes..)